(E) WHAT ARE OTHER GREAT WAYS OF INCREASING RELATIONSHIPS?

What are other Great ways of increasing relationships?

Have you experienced when you serve others in the happy spirit, relationships blossom immediately.. But, when we do it out of sense of obligation, it is not a gift at all; it does not build relationships; it wears them out. Do it for the fun of it. Do it the right spirit, service can be a pure joy. Even Pres. George Washington signed as "Your most humble and obedient servant", carries more weight, power and grace, Mother Teresa counted service to the very poor in Calcutta not as sacrifice but much joy she was experiencing.
Harvard researchers tested 132 students on the immune system of the body after seeing Mother Teresa helping the dying in Calcutta. There was dramatic increase in the immunity---using the saliva of students for the immunoglobulin A, a vital defence against the cold virus. When the same group saw Hitler's movie, the immune system was depressed.. Thus, those who serve others live so much longer.; so does meditation, giving a kind of relief from stress.
Dalai Lama was asked how he maintained inner peace and joy. "Look what's in front of you." he answered. Shift your focus to someone who needs help---in front of you...breaking away stress.

From 1940s and 1950s, customer relations slogan was "The customer is always right.", changing to customer satisfaction, and now, in globalization, satisfied customers do not talk, they are silent. Now, by word of mouth, we must delight the customer to talk, through customer astonishment, with all kinds of surprises. Gary Gietz mobilized his Astonishment Team to help build Scott his favorite home, which was later called "Astonishment House” for Colon cancer patient Scott Anderson, who later refurnished his home for his three year-old daughter, Ashley. Astonishment is to bring the best of yourself to others!

What is the difference between involvement and commitment? The chicken is involved by producing the eggs, while the pig is committed of being the ham.

Relationship building is the principle of daily renewal. If you struggle with relationships, you think commitments are external, and just feelings. Misunderstanding occurs when we put it off. Carry it through, and you will build a great relationship every day.

When we feel optimistic, it becomes attractive to the other persons who will treat us better, understand us better, and increase our behavior we are acknowledging. “If people do not feel uplifted after meeting with you, then you are not a leader.” Field Marshall Montgomery declared. Including parenting. It is much easier and quicker to generate optimism, than through scaring the children through shame and guilt. Use the brain in vision, engaging the left brain ( logistic, and linear ) and the right brain (creative and visionary) requires more time, energy and courage, optimism enlarges the rewards! Build a habit of optimism and it will create good relationships with your family and others.
The real secret to success is enthusiasm, maybe, more so with excitement.

Have you heard a Chinese Proverb saying:- “A Man without a smile should not open a shop.”?

For relationship to progress, love must be active, goes out first and then it comes back. People who struggle in relationship have a opposite concept of love: waiting for it and maybe, waiting to get lucky. “Do the thing and you shall have the power.”-Emerson.

Which comes first, the courage to act or the act?

Most people think to have the courage first. Not really. Thinking it so limits people and prevents the enjoyment of other people. Emerson says it is the act first, then courage. Do the thing you are afraid of, and the fear will eventually diminish. Do the thing and you shall have the power.

Salespeople face fear daily; fear of cold-calling, fear of meeting powerful decision-makers, fear of closing a business deal, fear of asking a really large request of someone. Just make the sale. Just ask her out. Do the thing you fear and you shall have the power.

WE only fear what we do not understand. So, become a thinker, eyes open, and be an expert on that person.
Fear and love are two basic emotions. Hating someone means you fear something, mad at someone may mean you are afraid of losing something.
You can trace any anger to fear. So, the solution is to understand. All anger comes from fear and we only fear what we do not understand.

Do not take customers personally. Have fun with them-even the angry customers. Those who react with customers have hard time with customer relations emotionally… Be creative and clever. Let them feel you are on their side. Mirror their movements, talk, expression. After their talk, encourage to give details until they wear out. When we ask what kind of amends we should recommend.. they will answer. “ You have already done it. All I wanted was someone who cared….someone who would listen to me. You have done that.”

Train oneself to respond thoughtfully, or cleverly, to someone who is angry or mad. Be emotionally independent. Do not allow other emotions dictate your response. I cultivate and nurture my own emotions. People have no power to make us mad or angry.. Have creative thinking flowed by courageous effort…..by our own controlling our own consciousness, By making a difference, I am in control of my thoughts and my life.

Happiness and a meaningful life come from making differences.
The more we keep making differences, your skill will automatically increase. Anything human beings repeat they get more skillful at. Including misery!”

Whenever we make someone feel wrong for how they are feeling, we put distance between us. Feelings are the same. Closeness comes from revealing ourselves, dramatizing what we have in common.

Criticism creates distance, but agreement brings us closer.

To connect with the other person, is to think of listening as a skill, a conscious and thoughtful action. Relationships will alter immediately for the better, when we do away from most people reacting emotionally and unconsciously.