(A.) CREATING GOOD RELATIONSHIPS

Creating Good Relationships.

When we first learn to drive a car, we focus, completely engrossed, learning to drive. Later on mastering driving, we proceed to automate it.
It becomes so rote and automatic. It is human nature to turn tasks into routines.
It is the same manner with relationships, creating good relationships. Starting with full fervor and commitment, we often end up passively going through the motions. When our relationships begin to fizzle, we wonder what happened, because we continue our relationship at a very low level of consciousness.
Why do we lose the appeal?
How can we rekindle that relationship? That power lies within us.
Relationship always get better when we raise our level of consciousness and turn on the light.
Conversely,, relationships always get worse when we lower our level of consciousness.

The mind is like a mansion at night. Just turn on the light! It is the kind of focus you take to a relationship any time.
In his previous marriage which did not work out, my friend admitted he left everything to chance.---“how I felt thinking relationship was all about feeling. I waited until I felt like telling her, doing something for my wife, I felt like telling her I appreciated her. The problem was when I felt like it, she wasn't there; when she was there, I often did not feel like it. I let myself in total bondage to my feelings, and the relationship became worse.”

Now, I do things differently. Since I value this new relationship I make sure I treated it well. He created a great relationship with his new wife because he made it his rational and conscious intention to do so. He energized his level of consciousness up by daily listing his priorities of duties, and daily, his wife's name was in code to remind him of her consciously. We either create the relationship or let things happen to destroy itself by taking things for granted about relationship and love. We create the close relationship we want or we can unconsciously follow our feelings. Just follow your feelings, and your heart blindly can backfire.

Thus, we have a choice---to build a higher consciousness to lead us to a happy life, and the other choice leads us to the ongoing magic of human mood swings. Which choice do you want?

We often seem to go wrong in misunderstanding the mechanics of love. We associate love with feelings; absence of love with feelings; in fact we turn the whole idea of relationship with feelings. At home as well as in workplace. That is our first mistake.

Because love is NOT a feeling. Love is a CREATION, and ,therefore, love comes from the SPIRIT.---from the highest level of human being, and love makes access to our powers of imagination.

Emmer Fox puts it aptly,"Love is always creative and fear is always destructive.”

Steve Chandler, the motivational speaker, and author of "100 ways to motivate yourself and reinventing yourself" and "50 ways to create GREAT Relationships--How to stop taking and start giving" says, "You can change everything when you make it your gentle practice to create rather than react.--in business and in life.”
"Dead fish react to everything, rock, branch and flow of water. Dead things react. Animals react all day—responding what stimulates them at the moment.---the smell of food, the sight of my taking my dog for a walk. Live fish don't react, they create. They create a path through the water where they want to go. If we react to other people, we are dead already....responding to the life of the other person." says,
Steve Chandler.

The problem is easy and gentle. You can change everything by creating than by reacting. By paradigm shifting to a higher gear of creativity, that makes everything smooth again.

Even before conversing with another person, visualize the best relationship you can imagine, and all future conversations are influenced by that image..
Reactors do the opposite. No vision until the other person appears, then the reacting begins. What if the other person does not appreciate me or I do not get what I want?—it is a habit by default.

When we refuse to create a relationship we cannot but react. Thus, the first choice in building a good relationship is knowing what choice to shift. Repetition of the awareness of choice to shift up to your imagination at any time can create people who always feel turned on by life, but reacting to other people often turn them off in life.

Builders of great relationship are willing to grow continuously and change their personalities so as to make and keep new commitments. One speaker in self-esteem workshop was terrified of people what they thought of her as a speaker---unless she used facts, figures and studies to support her workshop. She was obsessed with her reputation and personality, and her fear was running her life. Living her life this way, like many people do—when trying to control what other people think, is like trying to nail jelly-O to the wall or shoveling mercury with a pitchfork.

To overcome her fear, she could practise random acts of kindness. Acts of kindness does not depend who you are, your personality, they actually create who you are. The acts come first, followed by the personality. Do not wait in your nature to do it. Who I am is what I do, by losing your "self"., forgetting your reputation of what people think of you.

If you know how to handle a woman, then you are likely be able to handle a teenager, a customer, business partner or handle any relationship. The element of surprise is a good strategic advantage in relationship.

Some call it the gift of time, compassion, listening, service and so on. The best kind anyone ever gets is the unexpected gift, the one they never dreamed of, e.g. Thanking people in ways they didn't expect. After a woman lost a child through lymphomia, she decided to donate $50,000 to buy a new laboratory equipment. One day, the hematologists invited Mrs. Johnson and presented her copies of magazines, hematologists read. "You have saved eight people, and we honor your name in our magazine---something very important as a way of honoring the memory of your son."

Thus, you can develop your creativity and consciousness to make your relationships deeper and more satisfying.---to those around you.--by starting to give and stopping to take.—the key to creating good and great relationships.