What is your deepest craving?
What is the deepest craving in human nature? The deepest craving in human nature is the craving to be__________________. Can all of you in the audience take a minute to fill in the blank?
You see it becomes fun when people begin guessing all sorts of cravings------to be rich, millionaire, great shape, beautiful, happy, loved, immortal, disease free, etc"
Willliam James, the great psychologist and philosopher, discovered after a lifetime research into human nature that it was the craving to be APPRECIATED. He was surprised that it ran deeper than the craving for love.
When women were asked,"Why did you divorce your husband?" Was it he didn't love you?" "Not really. He loved me in his own sick way; it was just I didn't feel appreciated."
Even abused children felt a certain sense of love, they almost never felt appreciated.
When you express appreciation in word , deed or even a card or mail, it sends a electrifying experience, one which the receiver will never forget. "I love you". message is a bit uncertain, the context has to be appropriate for it to connect. Yes, everyone craves appreciation, as everyone feels under-appreciated, Have you ever heard anyone express, " My problem is receiving so many people appreciating me. I am stressed out."
When Xerox was giant in sales, the Koether brothers wanted to challenged it by hiring good sales people with a passion for customer appreciation; it was mission impossible. After a few years, they were ahead of Xeror in sales.How? The Brothers had all the accounts people call on their customers to thank them on Thanksgiving Day, what they were grateful for, all the things they appreciated for their support; the response was so overwhelming that they looked forward to another Thanksgiving Day.
Do you believe it works? Then try expressing appreciation to someone in your life whom you have never appreciated before. The results can be so dramatic that it changes relationships forever.
Bear in mind all human beings have this craving to be appreciated--deeper than any craving in human nature. You will connect at a deeper level than you have ever thought.
It is a good motto to live by for creating relationships, since most people do not think and thank; the experience can be unforgettable.
Think about how specific the appreciation is about, the more specific, the more real it will feel to someone. "I really appreciate you, Jaszlyn, when you make the bed for your brother." Jaszlyn will feel appreciated she deserves; to improve the self-esteem of children, catch them in the act of doing something right. Child psychology is true for all psychology. The more we practise appreciation of others,our relationships will improve greatly.
Lack of thinking and thanking people erode gradually the sure ground of long-term relationships. For not thinking, we subconsciously wait for people to become worthy of our appreciation. We wait for them to change first, like most people waiting for other people to go first. This is a feeling-approach, to go first, as justified to me; it is not good thinking. It doesn't get me what I want; maybe, it gets me more of what I don't want, preventing me from thanking you for what I do apprecaiate.
Good thinking will lead to thanking, and makes good relationship grow.
Most people have a hard time giving because they never tried unconditional giving.--they did give in the form of trading, worrying what they could get back. Happiness is already present during the giving. It is created by the giving.
Creating the relation shift from being a taker to being a giver uplifts the giver to committing more as a contributor of relationship and happiness for both parties.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
(A.) CREATING GOOD RELATIONSHIPS
Creating Good Relationships.
When we first learn to drive a car, we focus, completely engrossed, learning to drive. Later on mastering driving, we proceed to automate it.
It becomes so rote and automatic. It is human nature to turn tasks into routines.
It is the same manner with relationships, creating good relationships. Starting with full fervor and commitment, we often end up passively going through the motions. When our relationships begin to fizzle, we wonder what happened, because we continue our relationship at a very low level of consciousness.
Why do we lose the appeal?
How can we rekindle that relationship? That power lies within us.
Relationship always get better when we raise our level of consciousness and turn on the light.
Conversely,, relationships always get worse when we lower our level of consciousness.
The mind is like a mansion at night. Just turn on the light! It is the kind of focus you take to a relationship any time.
In his previous marriage which did not work out, my friend admitted he left everything to chance.---“how I felt thinking relationship was all about feeling. I waited until I felt like telling her, doing something for my wife, I felt like telling her I appreciated her. The problem was when I felt like it, she wasn't there; when she was there, I often did not feel like it. I let myself in total bondage to my feelings, and the relationship became worse.”
Now, I do things differently. Since I value this new relationship I make sure I treated it well. He created a great relationship with his new wife because he made it his rational and conscious intention to do so. He energized his level of consciousness up by daily listing his priorities of duties, and daily, his wife's name was in code to remind him of her consciously. We either create the relationship or let things happen to destroy itself by taking things for granted about relationship and love. We create the close relationship we want or we can unconsciously follow our feelings. Just follow your feelings, and your heart blindly can backfire.
Thus, we have a choice---to build a higher consciousness to lead us to a happy life, and the other choice leads us to the ongoing magic of human mood swings. Which choice do you want?
We often seem to go wrong in misunderstanding the mechanics of love. We associate love with feelings; absence of love with feelings; in fact we turn the whole idea of relationship with feelings. At home as well as in workplace. That is our first mistake.
Because love is NOT a feeling. Love is a CREATION, and ,therefore, love comes from the SPIRIT.---from the highest level of human being, and love makes access to our powers of imagination.
Emmer Fox puts it aptly,"Love is always creative and fear is always destructive.”
Steve Chandler, the motivational speaker, and author of "100 ways to motivate yourself and reinventing yourself" and "50 ways to create GREAT Relationships--How to stop taking and start giving" says, "You can change everything when you make it your gentle practice to create rather than react.--in business and in life.”
"Dead fish react to everything, rock, branch and flow of water. Dead things react. Animals react all day—responding what stimulates them at the moment.---the smell of food, the sight of my taking my dog for a walk. Live fish don't react, they create. They create a path through the water where they want to go. If we react to other people, we are dead already....responding to the life of the other person." says,
Steve Chandler.
The problem is easy and gentle. You can change everything by creating than by reacting. By paradigm shifting to a higher gear of creativity, that makes everything smooth again.
Even before conversing with another person, visualize the best relationship you can imagine, and all future conversations are influenced by that image..
Reactors do the opposite. No vision until the other person appears, then the reacting begins. What if the other person does not appreciate me or I do not get what I want?—it is a habit by default.
When we refuse to create a relationship we cannot but react. Thus, the first choice in building a good relationship is knowing what choice to shift. Repetition of the awareness of choice to shift up to your imagination at any time can create people who always feel turned on by life, but reacting to other people often turn them off in life.
Builders of great relationship are willing to grow continuously and change their personalities so as to make and keep new commitments. One speaker in self-esteem workshop was terrified of people what they thought of her as a speaker---unless she used facts, figures and studies to support her workshop. She was obsessed with her reputation and personality, and her fear was running her life. Living her life this way, like many people do—when trying to control what other people think, is like trying to nail jelly-O to the wall or shoveling mercury with a pitchfork.
To overcome her fear, she could practise random acts of kindness. Acts of kindness does not depend who you are, your personality, they actually create who you are. The acts come first, followed by the personality. Do not wait in your nature to do it. Who I am is what I do, by losing your "self"., forgetting your reputation of what people think of you.
If you know how to handle a woman, then you are likely be able to handle a teenager, a customer, business partner or handle any relationship. The element of surprise is a good strategic advantage in relationship.
Some call it the gift of time, compassion, listening, service and so on. The best kind anyone ever gets is the unexpected gift, the one they never dreamed of, e.g. Thanking people in ways they didn't expect. After a woman lost a child through lymphomia, she decided to donate $50,000 to buy a new laboratory equipment. One day, the hematologists invited Mrs. Johnson and presented her copies of magazines, hematologists read. "You have saved eight people, and we honor your name in our magazine---something very important as a way of honoring the memory of your son."
Thus, you can develop your creativity and consciousness to make your relationships deeper and more satisfying.---to those around you.--by starting to give and stopping to take.—the key to creating good and great relationships.
When we first learn to drive a car, we focus, completely engrossed, learning to drive. Later on mastering driving, we proceed to automate it.
It becomes so rote and automatic. It is human nature to turn tasks into routines.
It is the same manner with relationships, creating good relationships. Starting with full fervor and commitment, we often end up passively going through the motions. When our relationships begin to fizzle, we wonder what happened, because we continue our relationship at a very low level of consciousness.
Why do we lose the appeal?
How can we rekindle that relationship? That power lies within us.
Relationship always get better when we raise our level of consciousness and turn on the light.
Conversely,, relationships always get worse when we lower our level of consciousness.
The mind is like a mansion at night. Just turn on the light! It is the kind of focus you take to a relationship any time.
In his previous marriage which did not work out, my friend admitted he left everything to chance.---“how I felt thinking relationship was all about feeling. I waited until I felt like telling her, doing something for my wife, I felt like telling her I appreciated her. The problem was when I felt like it, she wasn't there; when she was there, I often did not feel like it. I let myself in total bondage to my feelings, and the relationship became worse.”
Now, I do things differently. Since I value this new relationship I make sure I treated it well. He created a great relationship with his new wife because he made it his rational and conscious intention to do so. He energized his level of consciousness up by daily listing his priorities of duties, and daily, his wife's name was in code to remind him of her consciously. We either create the relationship or let things happen to destroy itself by taking things for granted about relationship and love. We create the close relationship we want or we can unconsciously follow our feelings. Just follow your feelings, and your heart blindly can backfire.
Thus, we have a choice---to build a higher consciousness to lead us to a happy life, and the other choice leads us to the ongoing magic of human mood swings. Which choice do you want?
We often seem to go wrong in misunderstanding the mechanics of love. We associate love with feelings; absence of love with feelings; in fact we turn the whole idea of relationship with feelings. At home as well as in workplace. That is our first mistake.
Because love is NOT a feeling. Love is a CREATION, and ,therefore, love comes from the SPIRIT.---from the highest level of human being, and love makes access to our powers of imagination.
Emmer Fox puts it aptly,"Love is always creative and fear is always destructive.”
Steve Chandler, the motivational speaker, and author of "100 ways to motivate yourself and reinventing yourself" and "50 ways to create GREAT Relationships--How to stop taking and start giving" says, "You can change everything when you make it your gentle practice to create rather than react.--in business and in life.”
"Dead fish react to everything, rock, branch and flow of water. Dead things react. Animals react all day—responding what stimulates them at the moment.---the smell of food, the sight of my taking my dog for a walk. Live fish don't react, they create. They create a path through the water where they want to go. If we react to other people, we are dead already....responding to the life of the other person." says,
Steve Chandler.
The problem is easy and gentle. You can change everything by creating than by reacting. By paradigm shifting to a higher gear of creativity, that makes everything smooth again.
Even before conversing with another person, visualize the best relationship you can imagine, and all future conversations are influenced by that image..
Reactors do the opposite. No vision until the other person appears, then the reacting begins. What if the other person does not appreciate me or I do not get what I want?—it is a habit by default.
When we refuse to create a relationship we cannot but react. Thus, the first choice in building a good relationship is knowing what choice to shift. Repetition of the awareness of choice to shift up to your imagination at any time can create people who always feel turned on by life, but reacting to other people often turn them off in life.
Builders of great relationship are willing to grow continuously and change their personalities so as to make and keep new commitments. One speaker in self-esteem workshop was terrified of people what they thought of her as a speaker---unless she used facts, figures and studies to support her workshop. She was obsessed with her reputation and personality, and her fear was running her life. Living her life this way, like many people do—when trying to control what other people think, is like trying to nail jelly-O to the wall or shoveling mercury with a pitchfork.
To overcome her fear, she could practise random acts of kindness. Acts of kindness does not depend who you are, your personality, they actually create who you are. The acts come first, followed by the personality. Do not wait in your nature to do it. Who I am is what I do, by losing your "self"., forgetting your reputation of what people think of you.
If you know how to handle a woman, then you are likely be able to handle a teenager, a customer, business partner or handle any relationship. The element of surprise is a good strategic advantage in relationship.
Some call it the gift of time, compassion, listening, service and so on. The best kind anyone ever gets is the unexpected gift, the one they never dreamed of, e.g. Thanking people in ways they didn't expect. After a woman lost a child through lymphomia, she decided to donate $50,000 to buy a new laboratory equipment. One day, the hematologists invited Mrs. Johnson and presented her copies of magazines, hematologists read. "You have saved eight people, and we honor your name in our magazine---something very important as a way of honoring the memory of your son."
Thus, you can develop your creativity and consciousness to make your relationships deeper and more satisfying.---to those around you.--by starting to give and stopping to take.—the key to creating good and great relationships.
5. THE DECISION FOR CHANGE CAN BE AN INSTANT!
5. THE DECISION FOR CHANGE CAN BE AN INSTANT!
How long does it take to make a decision to change? It takes a nanosecond, but a lifetime of passionate pursuit to maintain excellence or achieve world-class-standard.
"If you want to achieve excellence, you can get it today in a second, by quitting doing less-than- excellent work."--IBM Founder, Thomas Watson. A profound thought, but true!
The first thing is the determination to do it, and not to compromise, no matter what roadblocks your peers may erect for you. The other 99.9% is persistently doing it to:-
(1) keep your spirits high through any inevitable storms,
(2) learn something new every day, and
(3) practice until it becomes part of you.
Persistence will bring success, not because the nature of things has changed but the will to do is made easier, advised by Emerson and Hugh Grant, Church Leader.
It holds true for any job you undertake, clerk, nurse to the CEO, or even, quitting bad habits, like smoking, drinking alcohol or taking drugs.
The determined shift of mind-set is an all-or-nothing deal. Many people lament on how long it takes to achieve change. Is it really true? No, it takes a long time to MAINTAIN CHANGE!
The decision to change is simple. Honest. But to remain changed and maintaining it may require lifetime pursuit.
"Mockingbirds" by Mary Oliver, poet, tells of a very poor couple, who was visited by unexpected strangers, gods in disguise. They had nothing to feed them, but being attentive to listen to them....as the finest gift human beings could have made.
With the advanced technology, new competitors, new everything, the gift of human attention is the best blessing to have.
Forum Corporation researched and analysed that customers were lost by 14 major manufacturing and service companies:-
* 15 % switched suppliers or left because of quality problems: they found better products.
* 15 % changed to "Cheaper products" elsewhere because of price.
* 70 % of lost customers abandoned, not because of price or quality, but because they didn't like the human side of doing business with the prior provider of product or service.
So, in an age of globalisation, a token of human kindness, like the old couple in "Mockingbirds" is the best gift we can give anyone of our customers. "Change is the door that can only be opened from the inside" from the human heart, whether be motivation or empowerment of people.Terry Neill, Andersen Consulting's world-wide change practice says "Empowerment is not the thing we do to or for people. It's the impediments you take away, leaving space for folks to empower themselves."
How long does it take to make a decision to change? It takes a nanosecond, but a lifetime of passionate pursuit to maintain excellence or achieve world-class-standard.
"If you want to achieve excellence, you can get it today in a second, by quitting doing less-than- excellent work."--IBM Founder, Thomas Watson. A profound thought, but true!
The first thing is the determination to do it, and not to compromise, no matter what roadblocks your peers may erect for you. The other 99.9% is persistently doing it to:-
(1) keep your spirits high through any inevitable storms,
(2) learn something new every day, and
(3) practice until it becomes part of you.
Persistence will bring success, not because the nature of things has changed but the will to do is made easier, advised by Emerson and Hugh Grant, Church Leader.
It holds true for any job you undertake, clerk, nurse to the CEO, or even, quitting bad habits, like smoking, drinking alcohol or taking drugs.
The determined shift of mind-set is an all-or-nothing deal. Many people lament on how long it takes to achieve change. Is it really true? No, it takes a long time to MAINTAIN CHANGE!
The decision to change is simple. Honest. But to remain changed and maintaining it may require lifetime pursuit.
"Mockingbirds" by Mary Oliver, poet, tells of a very poor couple, who was visited by unexpected strangers, gods in disguise. They had nothing to feed them, but being attentive to listen to them....as the finest gift human beings could have made.
With the advanced technology, new competitors, new everything, the gift of human attention is the best blessing to have.
Forum Corporation researched and analysed that customers were lost by 14 major manufacturing and service companies:-
* 15 % switched suppliers or left because of quality problems: they found better products.
* 15 % changed to "Cheaper products" elsewhere because of price.
* 70 % of lost customers abandoned, not because of price or quality, but because they didn't like the human side of doing business with the prior provider of product or service.
So, in an age of globalisation, a token of human kindness, like the old couple in "Mockingbirds" is the best gift we can give anyone of our customers. "Change is the door that can only be opened from the inside" from the human heart, whether be motivation or empowerment of people.Terry Neill, Andersen Consulting's world-wide change practice says "Empowerment is not the thing we do to or for people. It's the impediments you take away, leaving space for folks to empower themselves."
Thursday, March 6, 2008
SOME REFLECTIONS & EXPERIENCE OF MINE
Some reflections and experience of mine.
Whenever we have the opportunity, we should beckon our serendipidity ( a new word meaning the talent for making a useful delivery by chance) to stand for what we strongly believe in, and have the gumption (practical sense) not to be insensitive to arouse racial or cultural issues or values which are held dearly by others. By our respect, tolerant of others, and have patience for success and development, we may imbue them together for eclectic bonding towards a peaceful and harmonious unity of community service, love and understanding.
"I am not very keen for doves or hawks. I thiink we need more owls.," George Aiken.
"Discretion is the salt, and sugar of life; the one preserves, the other sweetens it." Christian Nestle Bovee.
"What is it to be wise? Tis but to know how little can be known---to see all other's faults and feel our own." Alexander Pope.
If you don’t like the output, then change the input.
AS LEADERS WE MUST NOT JUST INFORM PEOPLE, WE MUST TRANSFORM THEM TO A BETTER LIFE; NOT JUST PROVIDE INPUT, BUT CREATE IMPACT IN THEIR LIVES; NOT JUST TO SHARE KNOWLEDGE AND TECHNOLOGY, BUT SHAPE THE DESTINY OF INDIVIDUALS AND NATIONS.
You are designed for accomplishments, engineered for success, and endowed with seeds of greatness.
You can have everything you want in life if you help enough people get what they want.
When you want something badly that you refuse to let go, you will probably get it—Les Brown.
Son: “How much does it cost to get married?”
Father: I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.
Son: “Is it true, Dad. I heard in ancient China, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.”
Father: “That happens everywhere, son, everywhere.
Marriage is like an institution where a man loses his Bachelor degree and the woman gains her Master degree.
Marriage requires a man to prepare four types of rings:
Engagement ring,
Wedding ring,
Suffering, and
Enduring.
Compassion is the exalted state of empathy.
All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all that I have not seen—R. Waldo Emerson.
I am very grateful that Jesus Christ is my Personal Saviour and Redeemer of the World
for his love and sacrifice through his Atonement as decreed in Heaven. His Plan of Salvation or Happiness (or Mercy) I accept wholeheartedly. If anyone who refuses the choice of Mercy being offered, then the person has to face Justice in the eternity.
For me, Gratitude to Heavenly Father and Christ is the mother of all virtues, and the Atonement offered is the Munificence and Mercy of God Almighty who alone can bestow upon us with divine benevolence and blessings. Praise be to his Holy Name!
Whenever we have the opportunity, we should beckon our serendipidity ( a new word meaning the talent for making a useful delivery by chance) to stand for what we strongly believe in, and have the gumption (practical sense) not to be insensitive to arouse racial or cultural issues or values which are held dearly by others. By our respect, tolerant of others, and have patience for success and development, we may imbue them together for eclectic bonding towards a peaceful and harmonious unity of community service, love and understanding.
"I am not very keen for doves or hawks. I thiink we need more owls.," George Aiken.
"Discretion is the salt, and sugar of life; the one preserves, the other sweetens it." Christian Nestle Bovee.
"What is it to be wise? Tis but to know how little can be known---to see all other's faults and feel our own." Alexander Pope.
If you don’t like the output, then change the input.
AS LEADERS WE MUST NOT JUST INFORM PEOPLE, WE MUST TRANSFORM THEM TO A BETTER LIFE; NOT JUST PROVIDE INPUT, BUT CREATE IMPACT IN THEIR LIVES; NOT JUST TO SHARE KNOWLEDGE AND TECHNOLOGY, BUT SHAPE THE DESTINY OF INDIVIDUALS AND NATIONS.
You are designed for accomplishments, engineered for success, and endowed with seeds of greatness.
You can have everything you want in life if you help enough people get what they want.
When you want something badly that you refuse to let go, you will probably get it—Les Brown.
Son: “How much does it cost to get married?”
Father: I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.
Son: “Is it true, Dad. I heard in ancient China, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.”
Father: “That happens everywhere, son, everywhere.
Marriage is like an institution where a man loses his Bachelor degree and the woman gains her Master degree.
Marriage requires a man to prepare four types of rings:
Engagement ring,
Wedding ring,
Suffering, and
Enduring.
Compassion is the exalted state of empathy.
All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all that I have not seen—R. Waldo Emerson.
I am very grateful that Jesus Christ is my Personal Saviour and Redeemer of the World
for his love and sacrifice through his Atonement as decreed in Heaven. His Plan of Salvation or Happiness (or Mercy) I accept wholeheartedly. If anyone who refuses the choice of Mercy being offered, then the person has to face Justice in the eternity.
For me, Gratitude to Heavenly Father and Christ is the mother of all virtues, and the Atonement offered is the Munificence and Mercy of God Almighty who alone can bestow upon us with divine benevolence and blessings. Praise be to his Holy Name!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
4. FOR CHANGE, AVOID TIME WASTERS
4. For change, Avoid time wasters.
Do you know 800-100 million people have land mines spread over 64 countries? " Really?" you might ask. Yes, these mines are embedded in the minds and hearts of those who oppose change and ready to explode whenever someone suggests a better way or a need to change. It seems strange to you that so many are resistant to change or afraid of its consequences. The purpose of these mines is to destroy dreams and demolish creative ideas.
In order to succeed you must be ready to walk through these mine fields of criticisms, ridicules and unbeliefs.
Even David overcame victory over the giant Goliath, despite strong opposition from his brothers and people.
You might have faced such opposition yourself in your family and friends. But, cheer up, this message is to lift up your desires and hopes.
High Achievers have Peak Performance Principles: "they have the heart to PURSUE when others quit."
"Great spirits will always encounter violent opposition from mediocre people."--Albert Eistein.
Do not allow waste "stink up your life, especially time wasters."
Willliam Penn once said, "Time is what we use most, but what we use worst."
One of the real secrets of success is the continually evaluate your daily routine so as to insure performing the highest level of tasks and priorities.
"Time is a person's most precious commodity." --George Shinn, owner of NBA Basketball team and operate some 30 other Corporations.
"Your time should pay high dividends, whether be time spent at work or at leisure."
Let us consider what robs us of productive time.
Eliminate time wasters--by George in "The Miracles of Motivation."
1. Protect yourself from distractions and interruptions.
2. Explore alternatives when travel and wasting time or when one-hour lunch appointment can easily use up 2-3 hours of your time.
3. Take immediate actions is better than putting things off.
4. Getting meeting on time, with a definite agenda and everyone comes prepared for the committee meeting.
5.Faith and action will rid of most worries as time wasters.
6. Solve time problem by delegating tasks to others so they can focus on their highest calling.
By time management schedule and avoid time wasters, you can use time wisely for your own benefit and that of others…and invariably you bring change in life-style and behavior.
Do you know 800-100 million people have land mines spread over 64 countries? " Really?" you might ask. Yes, these mines are embedded in the minds and hearts of those who oppose change and ready to explode whenever someone suggests a better way or a need to change. It seems strange to you that so many are resistant to change or afraid of its consequences. The purpose of these mines is to destroy dreams and demolish creative ideas.
In order to succeed you must be ready to walk through these mine fields of criticisms, ridicules and unbeliefs.
Even David overcame victory over the giant Goliath, despite strong opposition from his brothers and people.
You might have faced such opposition yourself in your family and friends. But, cheer up, this message is to lift up your desires and hopes.
High Achievers have Peak Performance Principles: "they have the heart to PURSUE when others quit."
"Great spirits will always encounter violent opposition from mediocre people."--Albert Eistein.
Do not allow waste "stink up your life, especially time wasters."
Willliam Penn once said, "Time is what we use most, but what we use worst."
One of the real secrets of success is the continually evaluate your daily routine so as to insure performing the highest level of tasks and priorities.
"Time is a person's most precious commodity." --George Shinn, owner of NBA Basketball team and operate some 30 other Corporations.
"Your time should pay high dividends, whether be time spent at work or at leisure."
Let us consider what robs us of productive time.
Eliminate time wasters--by George in "The Miracles of Motivation."
1. Protect yourself from distractions and interruptions.
2. Explore alternatives when travel and wasting time or when one-hour lunch appointment can easily use up 2-3 hours of your time.
3. Take immediate actions is better than putting things off.
4. Getting meeting on time, with a definite agenda and everyone comes prepared for the committee meeting.
5.Faith and action will rid of most worries as time wasters.
6. Solve time problem by delegating tasks to others so they can focus on their highest calling.
By time management schedule and avoid time wasters, you can use time wisely for your own benefit and that of others…and invariably you bring change in life-style and behavior.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
3. CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR FOR BAD HABITS TAKES TIME
CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR FOR BAD HABITS TAKES TIME
For those who want to escape addiction, and deep-seated compulsive behavior, talking alone is not enough.
Victims should focus on action change, while loved ones/counsellors focus on the feelings of victims, with love, understanding, correction, coaxing, encouragement, and patience.
There are three principles to bear in mind.
1. Any change is a continuous process, never one time act.; it is a life-long process.
Pernicious points touching his whole life and his belief.
2. Compulsive act can be broken by force, as many believe.. Structural barrier is removed. Force can help is a misconception. Satan uses force, affecting free agency.(D & C 121:46).
3. Charity is not by compulsory means. It is gently handled by submission, rather than subjugation. or force.
Compulsive behaviour can be broken by repentance and avoidance of indulgence, while loved ones support and should care and concern for the victim.
The Cycle of Compulsive Behavior:(Compulsive Cycle)
1. Feeling of isolation from loved ones.
2. Acts of indulgence (e.g. taking alcohol, drugs).
3. Feelings of self-hatred ( low self-esteem).
4. Act of Concealment (hiding from people who love you).and , thus, going back to the feelings of isolation and the Cycle of Compulsive Behavior).
We can initiate the beakaway from the Cycle of Compulsive Behavior (Compulsive Cycle) through the Cycle of Success or Joy.(Joy Cycle).
Feelings of isolation can be replaced by the Feelings of Belonginess from the loved oned ones, like care and concern, love, understanding and good relationship with the victim..
The acts of indulgence should be replaced by the acts of progression ( practice, skills, habits) with the conducive environment to provide good feelings of belonginess, and optimal thinking instead of negative thinking.
The Feeling of self-hatred is replaced by recognition of self-esteem through loving emotion, and thinking.
Lastly, the acts of concealment should be replaced with the acts of disclosure (through communication, coaching, and sharing/discussing ideas).
Thus, Joy Cycle are these:-
1. Feelings of Belonginess (good relationship, love, and understanding)
2. Acts of Progression.(through optimal thinking and good emotions poured out)
3. Self-esteem.(good and self-confident)
4. Acts of Disclosure (recognition through Commmunication, coaching and sharing)
To convert change in bad habitual behavior requires coaching, counselling, mentoring, encouragement, never-give-up attitude, love, understanding and lots of patience for weeks, months and , maybe, years of patient nuturing in a friendly and supportive environment from those who care and concern for their well-being.
For those who want to escape addiction, and deep-seated compulsive behavior, talking alone is not enough.
Victims should focus on action change, while loved ones/counsellors focus on the feelings of victims, with love, understanding, correction, coaxing, encouragement, and patience.
There are three principles to bear in mind.
1. Any change is a continuous process, never one time act.; it is a life-long process.
Pernicious points touching his whole life and his belief.
2. Compulsive act can be broken by force, as many believe.. Structural barrier is removed. Force can help is a misconception. Satan uses force, affecting free agency.(D & C 121:46).
3. Charity is not by compulsory means. It is gently handled by submission, rather than subjugation. or force.
Compulsive behaviour can be broken by repentance and avoidance of indulgence, while loved ones support and should care and concern for the victim.
The Cycle of Compulsive Behavior:(Compulsive Cycle)
1. Feeling of isolation from loved ones.
2. Acts of indulgence (e.g. taking alcohol, drugs).
3. Feelings of self-hatred ( low self-esteem).
4. Act of Concealment (hiding from people who love you).and , thus, going back to the feelings of isolation and the Cycle of Compulsive Behavior).
We can initiate the beakaway from the Cycle of Compulsive Behavior (Compulsive Cycle) through the Cycle of Success or Joy.(Joy Cycle).
Feelings of isolation can be replaced by the Feelings of Belonginess from the loved oned ones, like care and concern, love, understanding and good relationship with the victim..
The acts of indulgence should be replaced by the acts of progression ( practice, skills, habits) with the conducive environment to provide good feelings of belonginess, and optimal thinking instead of negative thinking.
The Feeling of self-hatred is replaced by recognition of self-esteem through loving emotion, and thinking.
Lastly, the acts of concealment should be replaced with the acts of disclosure (through communication, coaching, and sharing/discussing ideas).
Thus, Joy Cycle are these:-
1. Feelings of Belonginess (good relationship, love, and understanding)
2. Acts of Progression.(through optimal thinking and good emotions poured out)
3. Self-esteem.(good and self-confident)
4. Acts of Disclosure (recognition through Commmunication, coaching and sharing)
To convert change in bad habitual behavior requires coaching, counselling, mentoring, encouragement, never-give-up attitude, love, understanding and lots of patience for weeks, months and , maybe, years of patient nuturing in a friendly and supportive environment from those who care and concern for their well-being.
What type of person are you prone to?
Which type of person are you prone to?
By Anthony Lim, 4 March, 2008.
How can we impart knowledge to others in such a way that they can understand and appreciate it? How can we train or even coach others to understand people better.?
From my experience, we must first appreciate there are three ways of mind map processes in human beings.
(1) Visual process--- some people are attracted more to visual images....35% of people.
(2) Auditory process--some people are drawn more to auditory or hearing process....25 % of the people.
(3) Kinesthetic (kinas) process---many people are more sensitive to kinesthetic process, feeling or emotion....40% of the people make up this group. People respond to feeling or emotion faster, they react or proact through their feelings in a given situation, like flight. fight or fear responses readily.
While it may be true there are others who make up the thinking type, which I believe are also present in the above three groups. But what make them more responsive or visible in the mind map process, which appeals to them initially and habitually?
Are you more attracted to visual, auditory or kinesthetic process or combination of these (through experience)?
S-space repetition--Auditory proned.
A-autosuggestion--Kinesthetic leaning.
V-visualisation--visual oriented.
E-experience- Combined the three processes.
When you understand yourself, or others, which type you belong to or are more prone to which mind map process, you are more likely to know how to present your delivery of speech, presentation or appeal to the audience more receptive than otherwise. In fact, you can also relate how you can help loved ones on a closer relationship or for that matter, anyone, to be more agreeable to their liking or preference.
So, which type are you? Or which types belong to your spouse, children, friends, strangers, or even customers? By observation and experience, you relate to each type according to the appeal of the process they prefer, in order to reach out to them, better understand them, and get their co-operation easier.
So, let us examine what type is classified as visual, auditory or kinesthetic type?
A person is a visual type, who speaks fast, looks, pictures or describes images. Can you picture my house? The visual person looks up, left, right, and stares. Unfocussed. George Bush has high pitched voice. Good memory, and right often on future happenings
Can you show me more? Let me illustrate to you. That is a bright idea! And I like the looks of it, but…….., Looks good. Show me more please…
Here’s my view…….………After what I have shown you, what is your input? Rubs his face.
Has vision, perceives, illustrates, repeats, reviews, surveys, perspective.
Headmaster can look into behavior of pupils.
Subconsciously reciprocates.
An auditory type looks right but settles sideways, hears and says it “sounds good to me”. Speaks in a rhythm and sings. Low pitched voice. Charismatic speaker. How does it sound to you? That idea rings the bell…. Did you hear about this one? Can you tell me more? How do you sound to you? Explain and summarize.
Talks in good tone. Expresses, Remarks, Gives opinions.
Kinesthetic person likes to fondle pen, toy, or holds something and feels things with his hands. Looks down, penguin type, and converts words into feeling. Thinks of the town, birthplace, different family members where they work;he pictures the sound of the sea and feels the place.
They are slow on touching people.
(Visual and auditory people are fast),
Kinesthetic eyes move up and down, move right, left and they talk about the past.
How do you feel about it? How do you grab it? Can you handle it? Certain pauses. He Feels and touches, even words he speaks relate to emotions.
How are you? How do you feel? Feels, rubs, and impresses. Feels the pressure.
Anything that makes you cry is the change you need. Anything you laugh is that you enjoy. Kinas people show these attributes more.
If your client or spouse is a visual type, show him/her the presentation, chart, photos, with explaination. Vision and mission.
If your client is more auditory type, Repeat your message, poem or song, so that the sounds are delightful to his/her ears.
For the kinesthetic type, tell about the past, present and the future. Let him/her feel the goodness of your experience. Let him/her feel the object of your message, laugh or cry, or enjoy it.
Studying these types of people under “SAVE” will help you deliver yourself better in speeches, relationship and live in a harmonious and peaceful environment, with others.
By Anthony Lim, 4 March, 2008.
How can we impart knowledge to others in such a way that they can understand and appreciate it? How can we train or even coach others to understand people better.?
From my experience, we must first appreciate there are three ways of mind map processes in human beings.
(1) Visual process--- some people are attracted more to visual images....35% of people.
(2) Auditory process--some people are drawn more to auditory or hearing process....25 % of the people.
(3) Kinesthetic (kinas) process---many people are more sensitive to kinesthetic process, feeling or emotion....40% of the people make up this group. People respond to feeling or emotion faster, they react or proact through their feelings in a given situation, like flight. fight or fear responses readily.
While it may be true there are others who make up the thinking type, which I believe are also present in the above three groups. But what make them more responsive or visible in the mind map process, which appeals to them initially and habitually?
Are you more attracted to visual, auditory or kinesthetic process or combination of these (through experience)?
S-space repetition--Auditory proned.
A-autosuggestion--Kinesthetic leaning.
V-visualisation--visual oriented.
E-experience- Combined the three processes.
When you understand yourself, or others, which type you belong to or are more prone to which mind map process, you are more likely to know how to present your delivery of speech, presentation or appeal to the audience more receptive than otherwise. In fact, you can also relate how you can help loved ones on a closer relationship or for that matter, anyone, to be more agreeable to their liking or preference.
So, which type are you? Or which types belong to your spouse, children, friends, strangers, or even customers? By observation and experience, you relate to each type according to the appeal of the process they prefer, in order to reach out to them, better understand them, and get their co-operation easier.
So, let us examine what type is classified as visual, auditory or kinesthetic type?
A person is a visual type, who speaks fast, looks, pictures or describes images. Can you picture my house? The visual person looks up, left, right, and stares. Unfocussed. George Bush has high pitched voice. Good memory, and right often on future happenings
Can you show me more? Let me illustrate to you. That is a bright idea! And I like the looks of it, but…….., Looks good. Show me more please…
Here’s my view…….………After what I have shown you, what is your input? Rubs his face.
Has vision, perceives, illustrates, repeats, reviews, surveys, perspective.
Headmaster can look into behavior of pupils.
Subconsciously reciprocates.
An auditory type looks right but settles sideways, hears and says it “sounds good to me”. Speaks in a rhythm and sings. Low pitched voice. Charismatic speaker. How does it sound to you? That idea rings the bell…. Did you hear about this one? Can you tell me more? How do you sound to you? Explain and summarize.
Talks in good tone. Expresses, Remarks, Gives opinions.
Kinesthetic person likes to fondle pen, toy, or holds something and feels things with his hands. Looks down, penguin type, and converts words into feeling. Thinks of the town, birthplace, different family members where they work;he pictures the sound of the sea and feels the place.
They are slow on touching people.
(Visual and auditory people are fast),
Kinesthetic eyes move up and down, move right, left and they talk about the past.
How do you feel about it? How do you grab it? Can you handle it? Certain pauses. He Feels and touches, even words he speaks relate to emotions.
How are you? How do you feel? Feels, rubs, and impresses. Feels the pressure.
Anything that makes you cry is the change you need. Anything you laugh is that you enjoy. Kinas people show these attributes more.
If your client or spouse is a visual type, show him/her the presentation, chart, photos, with explaination. Vision and mission.
If your client is more auditory type, Repeat your message, poem or song, so that the sounds are delightful to his/her ears.
For the kinesthetic type, tell about the past, present and the future. Let him/her feel the goodness of your experience. Let him/her feel the object of your message, laugh or cry, or enjoy it.
Studying these types of people under “SAVE” will help you deliver yourself better in speeches, relationship and live in a harmonious and peaceful environment, with others.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)