On 8 June, 2008, Elder Joshua Subandriyo (Area Seventy) called upon Anthony Lim and Sister Ho to give their testimonies at the general Conference of the West Malaysia District Conference. It came as a complete surprise to me, and an exhilarating experience.
I just spoke at a normal tone. When I was ten years old, I wanted to be a priest to serve God for I knew it was the best occupation I could think of. I wasn't thinking of the money earned then, but to work for Heavenly Father like those who work for their business is the best security.
I was spiritually born 35 years ago in this Church, being baptised by my cousin , John Lim, at Merlin Hotel, Kuala Lumpur at 6.30am, symbolic of the rising generation to follow. . At early dawn, the swimming pool was cold, I felt a tingling sensation all over my body. My decision came after having gone through years of research of religions and Christian denominations. But midway studying the Book of Mormorn as another testament of Jesus Christ, where recurrent battles between Nephites and Lamanites. made me ponder and ask God, if the Book was the word of God. "This is it" was the answer I received, and I engrossed myself fervently in the pursuit of Truth and revelation. If it was from God, then I must devote myself to enjoy his words,more than I would from secular books. I also realised that Jesus Christ Himself endorsed that the Mormon Book was divinely inspired, as He confirmed in Doctrine and Covenants (D & C) 1 :30, and several parts in D & C., and in Ezekiel 37:19 as the stick of Judah (record of Bible) and the stick of Joseph (Book of Mormon) being brought together as witnesses of Jesus Christ in the hand of Ephraim and other tribes of Israel(the latter-day saints having these two divine books).
From a Buddhist Novice Monk convert to a Christian Elder was not an instant process. I believed I was prepared from Pre-existence time until I was ready , and I did immediately accept the restoration of the Gospel like a lightening revelation. In fact, I vowed to Heavenly Father, I would serve Him for the rest of my life, if He would reveal the Truth to me. He did, and I embraced it instantly.
When my son, Elder Elisha Lim, was scheduled for Ogden Utah Mission, he was later "transferred" to Brisbane Mission. That night, I still told him, he was going to Utah, and he laughed, at the 9/11/2001 event which prevented several months of delay of missionary work.including transfers. Next week, he went to the Ogden Utah Mission,happily and adding strength to his weakening testimony. Three other miracles followed after our 25 days of studying the Book of Mornon three hours at night and three hours in the morning, with references to the Seminary and Institute manuals, and making our own summary of Mormon Book. I felt spiritually uplighted at the zenith of my hope for my son. He served his mission successfully leading in baptisms and as Zone Leader.
I want to thank Elder Joshua for allowing me to bear my testimony. I want to say I love Heavenly and Jesus Christ. I want also to express my love to each of you and hope to see you again in His Royal presence.
In Jesus Christ's name. Amen.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Message of Hope-Salvation and Exaltation
Message of Hope--Salvation and Exaltation.--A Talk by Anthony Lim, 25 May, 2008.
Since the foundation of the world and creation of life, man has vigorously seek the elixir of youth and the eternal life. He desires to enjoy the zenith of life, the joy, peace, safety and pleasures of life, and yet cannot obtain it, without the blessings of God. We may, however, retrograde to the opposite of zenith, which is nadir of hope. Why can't man be wise enough to choose the right course of action in order to enjoy the right consequence of results?
Maybe, he has not taken time enough to think, study and analyse to pursue the eclectic divine way to God. Since time immemorial, man has engrossed in the pursuit of happiness and material wealth.
With the advance in technology, science, and communications, people world-wide are assaulted through political, economiic and social systems compounded and accelerated than ever before, even fight or wage war for survival or possesion of lands for vain glory extension of property and lands.
People continue to promote entitlements more than enlightenment.
The Entitlements they cherish and target competitively are the seven P's---
Pride. Power. Pleasures & Positions in life, Possessions, Privileges. and Pornography. forgetting the enligtenment of five S's--Spirituality, Sacrifice, Santification and Salvation of Souls & Service to mankind for the underprivileged, poor and have-nots.
Thanks to our Father in Heaven, families can be united together forever in the celestial kingdom through the Plan of Happiness or Salvation. Thus, we are entrusted to proclaim the gospel to everyone on earth, as well as to promote change for a better life by being born again new persons.
These can be achieved by not just to inform but give input for education and advancement; not just to impart information of God's good tidings, but create an impact in their lives; not just to share the gospel and temporal things but to shape people's lives; and finally not just to preach service but to provide charitable service to mankind so as to change the destiny of indivuals and families. The Gospel is to change people's lives for the better, through repentance, faith, baptism and endurance in following God's ways, and provide service for mankind , a worthy goal and dream of humanity.
We believe building strong families will create strong societies which, in turn, establish a united and a strong nation.
What can build a strong family? By following two important principles:
1. Create a unity of family values and purpose in the family.
2. Establish a binding link with the spiritual forces of heaven with the family.
Do you know that The Gospel of Jesus Christ brings Tidings of great Joy to Mankind? Because the Acronym "Gospel" simply means "God's Only Son Preaches Eternal Life."
G OD'S
O NLY
S ON
P REACHES
E TERNAL
L IFE.
In Moses 1:39: "This is my work and my glory to bring to pass the immortality and the eternal life of man".
Since the foundation of the World, God the Father and Jesus Christ, His Son, had two main objectives in the Plan of Happiness or Salvation for man.........to establish the work of immortality and salvation of souls and crown his glory of eternal life and exaltation of man.
This morning, I wish to draw your attention to Elder Russel M Nelson's Talk on Salvation and Exaltation.
When he was in Kuala Lumpur with Elder Maxwell fourteeen years ago to dedicate the land of Malaysia for proseltying work. it was cancelled at the last minute, Elder Nelson saw the Vision 2020 displayed in our city and immediately referred to 2 Chron. 20:20 "Believe in the prophet, and thou shall prosper." He was impressed that Malaysia believed that vision.
To be saved or gain salvation- means to be saved from physical death and spiritual death.
Through the Atonement and Resurrection of Christ, all mankind will be saved and resurrected from physical death.
We can be saved from spiritual death by our faith in Him, living in obeying his laws and ordinance and serving Him.
To be exalted refers to the highest state of happiness and glory in the celestial kingdom.
Salvation is an individual affair as a born again person who has an individual faith and repentance to come to God through baptism and his enurance of living a godly life.
Eternal life or exaltation is a conditional gift with service to mankind and endurance of a godly life. A man can obtain the highest degree of celestial glory with a worthy wife with sealing in the temple and doing temple work for ancestors.
Since we are not released as parents as in church callings, we are responsible to teach children to walk in God's ways. and honor thier parents and do temple work for ancestors.
Do not control your children, especially teenagers. Treat them as adults, as independent, and free adults with ideas to contribute to family unity.
As a word of encouragement to singles, who are not married in this life or sealed to parents in this life.Cheer up! We know the Lord will judge each individual according to his desire and work. and the blessings of exaltation wil be given to all who are worthy and endure to the end.
For the married, congratulations, " you are lawful heirs, according to the flesh and have been from the world with Christ in God"
In all your trials, troubles, and tribulations (3 Ts),sicknesses, and sufferings even unto death, be careful you do not betray God---be careful you don't apostatize."--Joseph Smith.
The Gospel of Jesus Christ is a messgae of Hope for mankind--to prepare for salvation and eternal life. The time is now!
I say this in Jesus' name. Amen.
Written and given talk by Anthony Lim, 25 May, 2008. Kuala Lumpur Church branch.
Since the foundation of the world and creation of life, man has vigorously seek the elixir of youth and the eternal life. He desires to enjoy the zenith of life, the joy, peace, safety and pleasures of life, and yet cannot obtain it, without the blessings of God. We may, however, retrograde to the opposite of zenith, which is nadir of hope. Why can't man be wise enough to choose the right course of action in order to enjoy the right consequence of results?
Maybe, he has not taken time enough to think, study and analyse to pursue the eclectic divine way to God. Since time immemorial, man has engrossed in the pursuit of happiness and material wealth.
With the advance in technology, science, and communications, people world-wide are assaulted through political, economiic and social systems compounded and accelerated than ever before, even fight or wage war for survival or possesion of lands for vain glory extension of property and lands.
People continue to promote entitlements more than enlightenment.
The Entitlements they cherish and target competitively are the seven P's---
Pride. Power. Pleasures & Positions in life, Possessions, Privileges. and Pornography. forgetting the enligtenment of five S's--Spirituality, Sacrifice, Santification and Salvation of Souls & Service to mankind for the underprivileged, poor and have-nots.
Thanks to our Father in Heaven, families can be united together forever in the celestial kingdom through the Plan of Happiness or Salvation. Thus, we are entrusted to proclaim the gospel to everyone on earth, as well as to promote change for a better life by being born again new persons.
These can be achieved by not just to inform but give input for education and advancement; not just to impart information of God's good tidings, but create an impact in their lives; not just to share the gospel and temporal things but to shape people's lives; and finally not just to preach service but to provide charitable service to mankind so as to change the destiny of indivuals and families. The Gospel is to change people's lives for the better, through repentance, faith, baptism and endurance in following God's ways, and provide service for mankind , a worthy goal and dream of humanity.
We believe building strong families will create strong societies which, in turn, establish a united and a strong nation.
What can build a strong family? By following two important principles:
1. Create a unity of family values and purpose in the family.
2. Establish a binding link with the spiritual forces of heaven with the family.
Do you know that The Gospel of Jesus Christ brings Tidings of great Joy to Mankind? Because the Acronym "Gospel" simply means "God's Only Son Preaches Eternal Life."
G OD'S
O NLY
S ON
P REACHES
E TERNAL
L IFE.
In Moses 1:39: "This is my work and my glory to bring to pass the immortality and the eternal life of man".
Since the foundation of the World, God the Father and Jesus Christ, His Son, had two main objectives in the Plan of Happiness or Salvation for man.........to establish the work of immortality and salvation of souls and crown his glory of eternal life and exaltation of man.
This morning, I wish to draw your attention to Elder Russel M Nelson's Talk on Salvation and Exaltation.
When he was in Kuala Lumpur with Elder Maxwell fourteeen years ago to dedicate the land of Malaysia for proseltying work. it was cancelled at the last minute, Elder Nelson saw the Vision 2020 displayed in our city and immediately referred to 2 Chron. 20:20 "Believe in the prophet, and thou shall prosper." He was impressed that Malaysia believed that vision.
To be saved or gain salvation- means to be saved from physical death and spiritual death.
Through the Atonement and Resurrection of Christ, all mankind will be saved and resurrected from physical death.
We can be saved from spiritual death by our faith in Him, living in obeying his laws and ordinance and serving Him.
To be exalted refers to the highest state of happiness and glory in the celestial kingdom.
Salvation is an individual affair as a born again person who has an individual faith and repentance to come to God through baptism and his enurance of living a godly life.
Eternal life or exaltation is a conditional gift with service to mankind and endurance of a godly life. A man can obtain the highest degree of celestial glory with a worthy wife with sealing in the temple and doing temple work for ancestors.
Since we are not released as parents as in church callings, we are responsible to teach children to walk in God's ways. and honor thier parents and do temple work for ancestors.
Do not control your children, especially teenagers. Treat them as adults, as independent, and free adults with ideas to contribute to family unity.
As a word of encouragement to singles, who are not married in this life or sealed to parents in this life.Cheer up! We know the Lord will judge each individual according to his desire and work. and the blessings of exaltation wil be given to all who are worthy and endure to the end.
For the married, congratulations, " you are lawful heirs, according to the flesh and have been from the world with Christ in God"
In all your trials, troubles, and tribulations (3 Ts),sicknesses, and sufferings even unto death, be careful you do not betray God---be careful you don't apostatize."--Joseph Smith.
The Gospel of Jesus Christ is a messgae of Hope for mankind--to prepare for salvation and eternal life. The time is now!
I say this in Jesus' name. Amen.
Written and given talk by Anthony Lim, 25 May, 2008. Kuala Lumpur Church branch.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Recalling Natural Disasters, Cyclones, Earthquakes and Tsunamis
11 May, 2008 Sichuan Province in China suffered more than 50,000 deaths, and many thousands missing, and homeless. Two weeks before that Myanmar suffered more than 100,000 deaths due to cyclone Nargis, many thousands missing and homeless.
While in the midst of disasters, there were some cases of miraculous lives being saved.
Yet, a week before China suffered the earquake of 7.9, many locals noticed thousands of frogs travelling in mass floods crossed the streets without fear of traffic.
Scientists said that animals had a sixth sense of knowing in advance an impending disaster would take place.
When tsunami struck Aceh and surrounding lands of Thailand, and Asia,on 26 December, 2004 where 350,000 died due to waves of ten storeys high pummelled inlands, the whole town Aceh was destroyed. Stories had been said, before the disaster fell, Aceh had suffered some years of Christian persecution and Churches being damaged. Reports of miraculous saving of survivors were also reported, like a baby survived floating a few days on the sea, some survivors clinging to boards or tree trunks. in ceylon near the zoo, the animals escaped scurryingto the top of the hill. Amazing no animals or few were reported dead. Did they have the sense fof impending disaster and escaped tragedy before it happened?
It was interesting to note, that a week before Tsunami struck,our electricity reading and other residents' meters soared ten-fold increase through the Condo homes at Bukit Bintang,Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, sending shock waves to residents. My own meter reading shot up many times above the average monthly reading! It was also felt that internetting was interrupted for a few days; it was explained by experts that the under-ocean beds were damaging the cables there.
Thousands of sea-cucumbers were seen floating around the sea area due to the disturbing hot waves underneath, a few days before the tsunami disaster.
When tsunami struck that day, Malaysia felt the 5.8 tremor. sending residents scurrying down from their condos. Some noticed dishes being tossed side to side. like a rowing boat being tossed over waves. Some residents were terrified, a few held their hands in a clasping prayer.
While in the midst of disasters, there were some cases of miraculous lives being saved.
Yet, a week before China suffered the earquake of 7.9, many locals noticed thousands of frogs travelling in mass floods crossed the streets without fear of traffic.
Scientists said that animals had a sixth sense of knowing in advance an impending disaster would take place.
When tsunami struck Aceh and surrounding lands of Thailand, and Asia,on 26 December, 2004 where 350,000 died due to waves of ten storeys high pummelled inlands, the whole town Aceh was destroyed. Stories had been said, before the disaster fell, Aceh had suffered some years of Christian persecution and Churches being damaged. Reports of miraculous saving of survivors were also reported, like a baby survived floating a few days on the sea, some survivors clinging to boards or tree trunks. in ceylon near the zoo, the animals escaped scurryingto the top of the hill. Amazing no animals or few were reported dead. Did they have the sense fof impending disaster and escaped tragedy before it happened?
It was interesting to note, that a week before Tsunami struck,our electricity reading and other residents' meters soared ten-fold increase through the Condo homes at Bukit Bintang,Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, sending shock waves to residents. My own meter reading shot up many times above the average monthly reading! It was also felt that internetting was interrupted for a few days; it was explained by experts that the under-ocean beds were damaging the cables there.
Thousands of sea-cucumbers were seen floating around the sea area due to the disturbing hot waves underneath, a few days before the tsunami disaster.
When tsunami struck that day, Malaysia felt the 5.8 tremor. sending residents scurrying down from their condos. Some noticed dishes being tossed side to side. like a rowing boat being tossed over waves. Some residents were terrified, a few held their hands in a clasping prayer.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
(E) WHAT ARE OTHER GREAT WAYS OF INCREASING RELATIONSHIPS?
What are other Great ways of increasing relationships?
Have you experienced when you serve others in the happy spirit, relationships blossom immediately.. But, when we do it out of sense of obligation, it is not a gift at all; it does not build relationships; it wears them out. Do it for the fun of it. Do it the right spirit, service can be a pure joy. Even Pres. George Washington signed as "Your most humble and obedient servant", carries more weight, power and grace, Mother Teresa counted service to the very poor in Calcutta not as sacrifice but much joy she was experiencing.
Harvard researchers tested 132 students on the immune system of the body after seeing Mother Teresa helping the dying in Calcutta. There was dramatic increase in the immunity---using the saliva of students for the immunoglobulin A, a vital defence against the cold virus. When the same group saw Hitler's movie, the immune system was depressed.. Thus, those who serve others live so much longer.; so does meditation, giving a kind of relief from stress.
Dalai Lama was asked how he maintained inner peace and joy. "Look what's in front of you." he answered. Shift your focus to someone who needs help---in front of you...breaking away stress.
From 1940s and 1950s, customer relations slogan was "The customer is always right.", changing to customer satisfaction, and now, in globalization, satisfied customers do not talk, they are silent. Now, by word of mouth, we must delight the customer to talk, through customer astonishment, with all kinds of surprises. Gary Gietz mobilized his Astonishment Team to help build Scott his favorite home, which was later called "Astonishment House” for Colon cancer patient Scott Anderson, who later refurnished his home for his three year-old daughter, Ashley. Astonishment is to bring the best of yourself to others!
What is the difference between involvement and commitment? The chicken is involved by producing the eggs, while the pig is committed of being the ham.
Relationship building is the principle of daily renewal. If you struggle with relationships, you think commitments are external, and just feelings. Misunderstanding occurs when we put it off. Carry it through, and you will build a great relationship every day.
When we feel optimistic, it becomes attractive to the other persons who will treat us better, understand us better, and increase our behavior we are acknowledging. “If people do not feel uplifted after meeting with you, then you are not a leader.” Field Marshall Montgomery declared. Including parenting. It is much easier and quicker to generate optimism, than through scaring the children through shame and guilt. Use the brain in vision, engaging the left brain ( logistic, and linear ) and the right brain (creative and visionary) requires more time, energy and courage, optimism enlarges the rewards! Build a habit of optimism and it will create good relationships with your family and others.
The real secret to success is enthusiasm, maybe, more so with excitement.
Have you heard a Chinese Proverb saying:- “A Man without a smile should not open a shop.”?
For relationship to progress, love must be active, goes out first and then it comes back. People who struggle in relationship have a opposite concept of love: waiting for it and maybe, waiting to get lucky. “Do the thing and you shall have the power.”-Emerson.
Which comes first, the courage to act or the act?
Most people think to have the courage first. Not really. Thinking it so limits people and prevents the enjoyment of other people. Emerson says it is the act first, then courage. Do the thing you are afraid of, and the fear will eventually diminish. Do the thing and you shall have the power.
Salespeople face fear daily; fear of cold-calling, fear of meeting powerful decision-makers, fear of closing a business deal, fear of asking a really large request of someone. Just make the sale. Just ask her out. Do the thing you fear and you shall have the power.
WE only fear what we do not understand. So, become a thinker, eyes open, and be an expert on that person.
Fear and love are two basic emotions. Hating someone means you fear something, mad at someone may mean you are afraid of losing something.
You can trace any anger to fear. So, the solution is to understand. All anger comes from fear and we only fear what we do not understand.
Do not take customers personally. Have fun with them-even the angry customers. Those who react with customers have hard time with customer relations emotionally… Be creative and clever. Let them feel you are on their side. Mirror their movements, talk, expression. After their talk, encourage to give details until they wear out. When we ask what kind of amends we should recommend.. they will answer. “ You have already done it. All I wanted was someone who cared….someone who would listen to me. You have done that.”
Train oneself to respond thoughtfully, or cleverly, to someone who is angry or mad. Be emotionally independent. Do not allow other emotions dictate your response. I cultivate and nurture my own emotions. People have no power to make us mad or angry.. Have creative thinking flowed by courageous effort…..by our own controlling our own consciousness, By making a difference, I am in control of my thoughts and my life.
Happiness and a meaningful life come from making differences.
The more we keep making differences, your skill will automatically increase. Anything human beings repeat they get more skillful at. Including misery!”
Whenever we make someone feel wrong for how they are feeling, we put distance between us. Feelings are the same. Closeness comes from revealing ourselves, dramatizing what we have in common.
Criticism creates distance, but agreement brings us closer.
To connect with the other person, is to think of listening as a skill, a conscious and thoughtful action. Relationships will alter immediately for the better, when we do away from most people reacting emotionally and unconsciously.
Have you experienced when you serve others in the happy spirit, relationships blossom immediately.. But, when we do it out of sense of obligation, it is not a gift at all; it does not build relationships; it wears them out. Do it for the fun of it. Do it the right spirit, service can be a pure joy. Even Pres. George Washington signed as "Your most humble and obedient servant", carries more weight, power and grace, Mother Teresa counted service to the very poor in Calcutta not as sacrifice but much joy she was experiencing.
Harvard researchers tested 132 students on the immune system of the body after seeing Mother Teresa helping the dying in Calcutta. There was dramatic increase in the immunity---using the saliva of students for the immunoglobulin A, a vital defence against the cold virus. When the same group saw Hitler's movie, the immune system was depressed.. Thus, those who serve others live so much longer.; so does meditation, giving a kind of relief from stress.
Dalai Lama was asked how he maintained inner peace and joy. "Look what's in front of you." he answered. Shift your focus to someone who needs help---in front of you...breaking away stress.
From 1940s and 1950s, customer relations slogan was "The customer is always right.", changing to customer satisfaction, and now, in globalization, satisfied customers do not talk, they are silent. Now, by word of mouth, we must delight the customer to talk, through customer astonishment, with all kinds of surprises. Gary Gietz mobilized his Astonishment Team to help build Scott his favorite home, which was later called "Astonishment House” for Colon cancer patient Scott Anderson, who later refurnished his home for his three year-old daughter, Ashley. Astonishment is to bring the best of yourself to others!
What is the difference between involvement and commitment? The chicken is involved by producing the eggs, while the pig is committed of being the ham.
Relationship building is the principle of daily renewal. If you struggle with relationships, you think commitments are external, and just feelings. Misunderstanding occurs when we put it off. Carry it through, and you will build a great relationship every day.
When we feel optimistic, it becomes attractive to the other persons who will treat us better, understand us better, and increase our behavior we are acknowledging. “If people do not feel uplifted after meeting with you, then you are not a leader.” Field Marshall Montgomery declared. Including parenting. It is much easier and quicker to generate optimism, than through scaring the children through shame and guilt. Use the brain in vision, engaging the left brain ( logistic, and linear ) and the right brain (creative and visionary) requires more time, energy and courage, optimism enlarges the rewards! Build a habit of optimism and it will create good relationships with your family and others.
The real secret to success is enthusiasm, maybe, more so with excitement.
Have you heard a Chinese Proverb saying:- “A Man without a smile should not open a shop.”?
For relationship to progress, love must be active, goes out first and then it comes back. People who struggle in relationship have a opposite concept of love: waiting for it and maybe, waiting to get lucky. “Do the thing and you shall have the power.”-Emerson.
Which comes first, the courage to act or the act?
Most people think to have the courage first. Not really. Thinking it so limits people and prevents the enjoyment of other people. Emerson says it is the act first, then courage. Do the thing you are afraid of, and the fear will eventually diminish. Do the thing and you shall have the power.
Salespeople face fear daily; fear of cold-calling, fear of meeting powerful decision-makers, fear of closing a business deal, fear of asking a really large request of someone. Just make the sale. Just ask her out. Do the thing you fear and you shall have the power.
WE only fear what we do not understand. So, become a thinker, eyes open, and be an expert on that person.
Fear and love are two basic emotions. Hating someone means you fear something, mad at someone may mean you are afraid of losing something.
You can trace any anger to fear. So, the solution is to understand. All anger comes from fear and we only fear what we do not understand.
Do not take customers personally. Have fun with them-even the angry customers. Those who react with customers have hard time with customer relations emotionally… Be creative and clever. Let them feel you are on their side. Mirror their movements, talk, expression. After their talk, encourage to give details until they wear out. When we ask what kind of amends we should recommend.. they will answer. “ You have already done it. All I wanted was someone who cared….someone who would listen to me. You have done that.”
Train oneself to respond thoughtfully, or cleverly, to someone who is angry or mad. Be emotionally independent. Do not allow other emotions dictate your response. I cultivate and nurture my own emotions. People have no power to make us mad or angry.. Have creative thinking flowed by courageous effort…..by our own controlling our own consciousness, By making a difference, I am in control of my thoughts and my life.
Happiness and a meaningful life come from making differences.
The more we keep making differences, your skill will automatically increase. Anything human beings repeat they get more skillful at. Including misery!”
Whenever we make someone feel wrong for how they are feeling, we put distance between us. Feelings are the same. Closeness comes from revealing ourselves, dramatizing what we have in common.
Criticism creates distance, but agreement brings us closer.
To connect with the other person, is to think of listening as a skill, a conscious and thoughtful action. Relationships will alter immediately for the better, when we do away from most people reacting emotionally and unconsciously.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
(D) GIVE FROM YOUR SPIRIT SELF!
Give from your spirit self for spontaneous bond!
There are two types of listening that will diminish good relationsjhips:-
1. Preoccupied listening, and
2. Prejudicial listening.
Preoccupied lstening means appearing to be listening to you, but the listener is actually thinking of other things, or with other ideas in his head.
When we listen with a good follow through, that is a good connection; it builds good relationship. because listening creates an immediate bond.
Another damaging relationship is prejudicial listening, meaning, judging something before the evidence , has been presented.....I am judging what you are going to say before you even say it! Preducial listening is very common cause for relationship to break down. The reason I didn't hear you is because I felt I already knew what you were about to say.....setting up a filter in my mind, already interpret what you are saying before you have a chance to say it.
Young immature mind hovers over the mind; it is hard for them to stay focussed on any conversation. The kind of listening to keep practising is engaged listening.---like, one guy who was engaged to his wife, engaged listening, literally! We listen in a way honors and adores the other person, like becoming engaged. I can only get better and better through engaged listening, through repetition. When my mind leaves me, I simply bring it back, repeating the process, will get easier and easier. Repetition increases skill. Anything I am getting better at becomes more and more fun to do, especially true of engaged listening.
Accepting listening as an active skill, we can listening creatively by combining our words with other person's words., weaving them together in the most creative manner. How can I make a difference with the person I am listening to? The more differences I can make to you, my confidence rises, and this will make easier for me to listen to you.
Sometimes, people worry too much on using imagination.-- misuse of it. Worrying about disappointment, sadness, anger, about love not returned, about being rejected; using imagination for worry than creating its proper use of it. Look inside to find the intention, and your purpose. Do you want to make a difference in someone's life---making him happy? That's inside you, look outside and start getting busy!
Create an optimistic voice inside---you were there for her, support her. Keep smiling, laughing. You can start any minute now.
The more thought I give into what I want to give the other person, the better the relationship. Do not let the heart determine when to start and give, Let your mind and spirit join together and plan to make someone feel happy. Do not wait until you feel like giving. Give from your spirit self!
There are two types of listening that will diminish good relationsjhips:-
1. Preoccupied listening, and
2. Prejudicial listening.
Preoccupied lstening means appearing to be listening to you, but the listener is actually thinking of other things, or with other ideas in his head.
When we listen with a good follow through, that is a good connection; it builds good relationship. because listening creates an immediate bond.
Another damaging relationship is prejudicial listening, meaning, judging something before the evidence , has been presented.....I am judging what you are going to say before you even say it! Preducial listening is very common cause for relationship to break down. The reason I didn't hear you is because I felt I already knew what you were about to say.....setting up a filter in my mind, already interpret what you are saying before you have a chance to say it.
Young immature mind hovers over the mind; it is hard for them to stay focussed on any conversation. The kind of listening to keep practising is engaged listening.---like, one guy who was engaged to his wife, engaged listening, literally! We listen in a way honors and adores the other person, like becoming engaged. I can only get better and better through engaged listening, through repetition. When my mind leaves me, I simply bring it back, repeating the process, will get easier and easier. Repetition increases skill. Anything I am getting better at becomes more and more fun to do, especially true of engaged listening.
Accepting listening as an active skill, we can listening creatively by combining our words with other person's words., weaving them together in the most creative manner. How can I make a difference with the person I am listening to? The more differences I can make to you, my confidence rises, and this will make easier for me to listen to you.
Sometimes, people worry too much on using imagination.-- misuse of it. Worrying about disappointment, sadness, anger, about love not returned, about being rejected; using imagination for worry than creating its proper use of it. Look inside to find the intention, and your purpose. Do you want to make a difference in someone's life---making him happy? That's inside you, look outside and start getting busy!
Create an optimistic voice inside---you were there for her, support her. Keep smiling, laughing. You can start any minute now.
The more thought I give into what I want to give the other person, the better the relationship. Do not let the heart determine when to start and give, Let your mind and spirit join together and plan to make someone feel happy. Do not wait until you feel like giving. Give from your spirit self!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
(C) COMMIT YOURSELF TO CHANGE WITHIN.
Commit yourself to change within.
Thinking can solve relationship problems, as Voltaire said "No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking." But, the irony is this, we do not sustain thinking, the moment we do start it, feelings will take over, the inner voice said,"I don't want to think about it."
When people actually have the problem, they become wireD up emotionally that they are no longer rational. The inner consultant's voice can help, giving you some distance to think about it, and sustained thinking can always solve the problem.
The risking way can help you to grow, and you become your best and be happy, advised psychologist, Dr, David Viscott.
Begin with small risks, e.g. A compliment you give though you were first reluctant to give. The list can go on, like, writing a small note of thanks,
a warm hug, a discussion. When the small risk expands, start larger risks, releasing your butterflies to fly away.
Be a good listener to your loved ones, or someone important to you. Having two ears than one mouth, I should proportionate my listening twice to talking less. We can improve relationship by being sincere to listen to someone's grievance, suggestion or recommendation, or even a child's
talk. Become enchanted, listen to the sweet music of the child's voice, WE feel it, touch it and amused by it, and the child will echo back, "Dad's listening to me. Wow! he cares for me!"
The same can be appreciated by your customer or anyone who listens attentively. When you put your full attention to listen to the woes of a lonely wife, teenager, friend, and anyone who needs attention, see the glow of the his/her eyes! At last, someone listens to me; sometimes, my parents do not listen, they hear me only.
Good relationship is spontaneous when two persons can laugh together, so do you have a sense of humour?
"The shortest distance between two persons is a laugh."--Victor Borge. Whatever you are doing, if it is not fun, you are not doing it right. Laugh, and the world laughs with you; it is so true with good relationship.
"To make a friend, be one." -Emerson.
"Seek first to understand, then to be understood."-Steven Covey.
We all want to seek the right mates, forgetting first to be the right mates ourselves. We want others to improve, or change first, before we become better friends. The reverse is true to have closer relationships.
People tend to learn ideas faster when they relate to their personal lives. When things improve at home, other relationships will improve accordingly. Change yourself first before practising to change others; all improvements start within oneself.
Once I learnt from an experienced pastor, who was speaking alone with an enthusiastic Hindu. The Hindu man kept telling him why he believed his religion was right, non-violent religion; he kept vows and devotion, his prayers were answered, kept faithful for many years, including his family members. Almost an hour passed, the pastor asked more questions, showing interest in his beliefs.
The pastor listened well, except asked short questions. Then the Hindu man realised he had talked alot, and felt tired. He asked, "Hey, I don't know what your beliefs are? Tell me."
Then the pastor summoned all his courage to give a precise talk about Jesus, God's Son who brought a change in his life through Repentance and Mercy. Towards the end, the Hindu man asked, "How can I join him?" He was baptised the next week.
This example of a listening pastor can be a good lesson of making a great missionary.
In fact, I actually practised this method in Penang, of being totally interested in one Protestant whose knowledge of the Bible was at his finger-tips. He could quote off-hand at any situation or story. I was enthralled by his enthusiasm and cleverness in the scriptures. For three nights the missionary couple and I discussed quotations in the Bible, because that was his interest, until the last night, I gave some quotations from Alma, and Helaman. He came back vociferiously that he could not find them in the Bible! I apologised, but they were found in the new scriptures--the Book of Mormon. I asked "Do you believe what they said?" "Do you believe we should have new prophets to guide us?" He confirmed, so we gave him the new scriptions to search into. After one month, He was baptised into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, including his wife, and two children. That miracle and conversion came from the Lord, while the discussion and convincing were prepared by us, and then followed by the missionary Elders.
Sometimes, silence is an effective way or a gift we rarely remember to bring along--to tune in to what people are saying-- to respect silence. "When I am silent, the purity of self speaks to me, guides and nudges me." When I am silent, I hear the purity of another's self, speaking, and nudging me. I learn more through silence."- Stev Hardison, Personal coach to athletes and business leaders.
Sometimes, in the morning, we wake up and react to the bad news on the radio, television or press; the crime, injustice, lies that we cannot trust people anymore. Traffic jam. cold email received.
We are onslaught by the daily habit of reacting of other people's faults. "Why should my happiness depend on the thoughts in some else's head?" --Emerson.
How do we overcome this misery of craps?
Use the shifting concept. Shun away from your deep negative emotions, physical and emotion, and rise up to higher level of imagination. Rise above yourself in spirit. Start to think optimally, seek out the best books on how to really love a woman, if you have problem with a spouse.
When we shift from the low to a high level of imagination or creativity, everything shifts, like talking with customers. What works for the spouse can be applied to customers. From an empty canvass, we paint, and it becomes a picture, then we coloured with details. Relationships are not accidents, they are created.
Happiness does not come from other people. It comes from ourselves, within us. The destructive relationship illusion is that other people can make us happy. They can't. But our existing happiness we can share with other people. Change comes from agreement, not from making someone wrong.
The most common desire by clients is to change other people--even lovers say them aloud at one another--that is the very thing that make relationships worse.
Most people think for their relationships to get better, others should have to improve. With this anxiety to change others, it never works; because trying to change other people drives them DEEPER into their self defence system.. It drives them deeper and more committed to defend their behaviour. Upon being criticized, they become defensive to rationalize their behavour, even more proud of it; thus, it guarantees to strengthen their orginal behaviour!
So, this cycle of defensiveness grows for both sides, and separation widens.
When we try to change others, we assume they are wrong or doing wrong. Thus, in the process, it was initially a tendency, now, it is a principle of theirs--more invested in their own behaviour. By trying to help them to change, you've actually increased their behaviour they do not want..
For change in life, change what is under your control--change yourself first! By this example, it will enlighten the other party wanting to change.
Thinking can solve relationship problems, as Voltaire said "No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking." But, the irony is this, we do not sustain thinking, the moment we do start it, feelings will take over, the inner voice said,"I don't want to think about it."
When people actually have the problem, they become wireD up emotionally that they are no longer rational. The inner consultant's voice can help, giving you some distance to think about it, and sustained thinking can always solve the problem.
The risking way can help you to grow, and you become your best and be happy, advised psychologist, Dr, David Viscott.
Begin with small risks, e.g. A compliment you give though you were first reluctant to give. The list can go on, like, writing a small note of thanks,
a warm hug, a discussion. When the small risk expands, start larger risks, releasing your butterflies to fly away.
Be a good listener to your loved ones, or someone important to you. Having two ears than one mouth, I should proportionate my listening twice to talking less. We can improve relationship by being sincere to listen to someone's grievance, suggestion or recommendation, or even a child's
talk. Become enchanted, listen to the sweet music of the child's voice, WE feel it, touch it and amused by it, and the child will echo back, "Dad's listening to me. Wow! he cares for me!"
The same can be appreciated by your customer or anyone who listens attentively. When you put your full attention to listen to the woes of a lonely wife, teenager, friend, and anyone who needs attention, see the glow of the his/her eyes! At last, someone listens to me; sometimes, my parents do not listen, they hear me only.
Good relationship is spontaneous when two persons can laugh together, so do you have a sense of humour?
"The shortest distance between two persons is a laugh."--Victor Borge. Whatever you are doing, if it is not fun, you are not doing it right. Laugh, and the world laughs with you; it is so true with good relationship.
"To make a friend, be one." -Emerson.
"Seek first to understand, then to be understood."-Steven Covey.
We all want to seek the right mates, forgetting first to be the right mates ourselves. We want others to improve, or change first, before we become better friends. The reverse is true to have closer relationships.
People tend to learn ideas faster when they relate to their personal lives. When things improve at home, other relationships will improve accordingly. Change yourself first before practising to change others; all improvements start within oneself.
Once I learnt from an experienced pastor, who was speaking alone with an enthusiastic Hindu. The Hindu man kept telling him why he believed his religion was right, non-violent religion; he kept vows and devotion, his prayers were answered, kept faithful for many years, including his family members. Almost an hour passed, the pastor asked more questions, showing interest in his beliefs.
The pastor listened well, except asked short questions. Then the Hindu man realised he had talked alot, and felt tired. He asked, "Hey, I don't know what your beliefs are? Tell me."
Then the pastor summoned all his courage to give a precise talk about Jesus, God's Son who brought a change in his life through Repentance and Mercy. Towards the end, the Hindu man asked, "How can I join him?" He was baptised the next week.
This example of a listening pastor can be a good lesson of making a great missionary.
In fact, I actually practised this method in Penang, of being totally interested in one Protestant whose knowledge of the Bible was at his finger-tips. He could quote off-hand at any situation or story. I was enthralled by his enthusiasm and cleverness in the scriptures. For three nights the missionary couple and I discussed quotations in the Bible, because that was his interest, until the last night, I gave some quotations from Alma, and Helaman. He came back vociferiously that he could not find them in the Bible! I apologised, but they were found in the new scriptures--the Book of Mormon. I asked "Do you believe what they said?" "Do you believe we should have new prophets to guide us?" He confirmed, so we gave him the new scriptions to search into. After one month, He was baptised into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, including his wife, and two children. That miracle and conversion came from the Lord, while the discussion and convincing were prepared by us, and then followed by the missionary Elders.
Sometimes, silence is an effective way or a gift we rarely remember to bring along--to tune in to what people are saying-- to respect silence. "When I am silent, the purity of self speaks to me, guides and nudges me." When I am silent, I hear the purity of another's self, speaking, and nudging me. I learn more through silence."- Stev Hardison, Personal coach to athletes and business leaders.
Sometimes, in the morning, we wake up and react to the bad news on the radio, television or press; the crime, injustice, lies that we cannot trust people anymore. Traffic jam. cold email received.
We are onslaught by the daily habit of reacting of other people's faults. "Why should my happiness depend on the thoughts in some else's head?" --Emerson.
How do we overcome this misery of craps?
Use the shifting concept. Shun away from your deep negative emotions, physical and emotion, and rise up to higher level of imagination. Rise above yourself in spirit. Start to think optimally, seek out the best books on how to really love a woman, if you have problem with a spouse.
When we shift from the low to a high level of imagination or creativity, everything shifts, like talking with customers. What works for the spouse can be applied to customers. From an empty canvass, we paint, and it becomes a picture, then we coloured with details. Relationships are not accidents, they are created.
Happiness does not come from other people. It comes from ourselves, within us. The destructive relationship illusion is that other people can make us happy. They can't. But our existing happiness we can share with other people. Change comes from agreement, not from making someone wrong.
The most common desire by clients is to change other people--even lovers say them aloud at one another--that is the very thing that make relationships worse.
Most people think for their relationships to get better, others should have to improve. With this anxiety to change others, it never works; because trying to change other people drives them DEEPER into their self defence system.. It drives them deeper and more committed to defend their behaviour. Upon being criticized, they become defensive to rationalize their behavour, even more proud of it; thus, it guarantees to strengthen their orginal behaviour!
So, this cycle of defensiveness grows for both sides, and separation widens.
When we try to change others, we assume they are wrong or doing wrong. Thus, in the process, it was initially a tendency, now, it is a principle of theirs--more invested in their own behaviour. By trying to help them to change, you've actually increased their behaviour they do not want..
For change in life, change what is under your control--change yourself first! By this example, it will enlighten the other party wanting to change.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
(B) WHAT IS YOUR DEEPEST CRAVING?
What is your deepest craving?
What is the deepest craving in human nature? The deepest craving in human nature is the craving to be__________________. Can all of you in the audience take a minute to fill in the blank?
You see it becomes fun when people begin guessing all sorts of cravings------to be rich, millionaire, great shape, beautiful, happy, loved, immortal, disease free, etc"
Willliam James, the great psychologist and philosopher, discovered after a lifetime research into human nature that it was the craving to be APPRECIATED. He was surprised that it ran deeper than the craving for love.
When women were asked,"Why did you divorce your husband?" Was it he didn't love you?" "Not really. He loved me in his own sick way; it was just I didn't feel appreciated."
Even abused children felt a certain sense of love, they almost never felt appreciated.
When you express appreciation in word , deed or even a card or mail, it sends a electrifying experience, one which the receiver will never forget. "I love you". message is a bit uncertain, the context has to be appropriate for it to connect. Yes, everyone craves appreciation, as everyone feels under-appreciated, Have you ever heard anyone express, " My problem is receiving so many people appreciating me. I am stressed out."
When Xerox was giant in sales, the Koether brothers wanted to challenged it by hiring good sales people with a passion for customer appreciation; it was mission impossible. After a few years, they were ahead of Xeror in sales.How? The Brothers had all the accounts people call on their customers to thank them on Thanksgiving Day, what they were grateful for, all the things they appreciated for their support; the response was so overwhelming that they looked forward to another Thanksgiving Day.
Do you believe it works? Then try expressing appreciation to someone in your life whom you have never appreciated before. The results can be so dramatic that it changes relationships forever.
Bear in mind all human beings have this craving to be appreciated--deeper than any craving in human nature. You will connect at a deeper level than you have ever thought.
It is a good motto to live by for creating relationships, since most people do not think and thank; the experience can be unforgettable.
Think about how specific the appreciation is about, the more specific, the more real it will feel to someone. "I really appreciate you, Jaszlyn, when you make the bed for your brother." Jaszlyn will feel appreciated she deserves; to improve the self-esteem of children, catch them in the act of doing something right. Child psychology is true for all psychology. The more we practise appreciation of others,our relationships will improve greatly.
Lack of thinking and thanking people erode gradually the sure ground of long-term relationships. For not thinking, we subconsciously wait for people to become worthy of our appreciation. We wait for them to change first, like most people waiting for other people to go first. This is a feeling-approach, to go first, as justified to me; it is not good thinking. It doesn't get me what I want; maybe, it gets me more of what I don't want, preventing me from thanking you for what I do apprecaiate.
Good thinking will lead to thanking, and makes good relationship grow.
Most people have a hard time giving because they never tried unconditional giving.--they did give in the form of trading, worrying what they could get back. Happiness is already present during the giving. It is created by the giving.
Creating the relation shift from being a taker to being a giver uplifts the giver to committing more as a contributor of relationship and happiness for both parties.
What is the deepest craving in human nature? The deepest craving in human nature is the craving to be__________________. Can all of you in the audience take a minute to fill in the blank?
You see it becomes fun when people begin guessing all sorts of cravings------to be rich, millionaire, great shape, beautiful, happy, loved, immortal, disease free, etc"
Willliam James, the great psychologist and philosopher, discovered after a lifetime research into human nature that it was the craving to be APPRECIATED. He was surprised that it ran deeper than the craving for love.
When women were asked,"Why did you divorce your husband?" Was it he didn't love you?" "Not really. He loved me in his own sick way; it was just I didn't feel appreciated."
Even abused children felt a certain sense of love, they almost never felt appreciated.
When you express appreciation in word , deed or even a card or mail, it sends a electrifying experience, one which the receiver will never forget. "I love you". message is a bit uncertain, the context has to be appropriate for it to connect. Yes, everyone craves appreciation, as everyone feels under-appreciated, Have you ever heard anyone express, " My problem is receiving so many people appreciating me. I am stressed out."
When Xerox was giant in sales, the Koether brothers wanted to challenged it by hiring good sales people with a passion for customer appreciation; it was mission impossible. After a few years, they were ahead of Xeror in sales.How? The Brothers had all the accounts people call on their customers to thank them on Thanksgiving Day, what they were grateful for, all the things they appreciated for their support; the response was so overwhelming that they looked forward to another Thanksgiving Day.
Do you believe it works? Then try expressing appreciation to someone in your life whom you have never appreciated before. The results can be so dramatic that it changes relationships forever.
Bear in mind all human beings have this craving to be appreciated--deeper than any craving in human nature. You will connect at a deeper level than you have ever thought.
It is a good motto to live by for creating relationships, since most people do not think and thank; the experience can be unforgettable.
Think about how specific the appreciation is about, the more specific, the more real it will feel to someone. "I really appreciate you, Jaszlyn, when you make the bed for your brother." Jaszlyn will feel appreciated she deserves; to improve the self-esteem of children, catch them in the act of doing something right. Child psychology is true for all psychology. The more we practise appreciation of others,our relationships will improve greatly.
Lack of thinking and thanking people erode gradually the sure ground of long-term relationships. For not thinking, we subconsciously wait for people to become worthy of our appreciation. We wait for them to change first, like most people waiting for other people to go first. This is a feeling-approach, to go first, as justified to me; it is not good thinking. It doesn't get me what I want; maybe, it gets me more of what I don't want, preventing me from thanking you for what I do apprecaiate.
Good thinking will lead to thanking, and makes good relationship grow.
Most people have a hard time giving because they never tried unconditional giving.--they did give in the form of trading, worrying what they could get back. Happiness is already present during the giving. It is created by the giving.
Creating the relation shift from being a taker to being a giver uplifts the giver to committing more as a contributor of relationship and happiness for both parties.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
(A.) CREATING GOOD RELATIONSHIPS
Creating Good Relationships.
When we first learn to drive a car, we focus, completely engrossed, learning to drive. Later on mastering driving, we proceed to automate it.
It becomes so rote and automatic. It is human nature to turn tasks into routines.
It is the same manner with relationships, creating good relationships. Starting with full fervor and commitment, we often end up passively going through the motions. When our relationships begin to fizzle, we wonder what happened, because we continue our relationship at a very low level of consciousness.
Why do we lose the appeal?
How can we rekindle that relationship? That power lies within us.
Relationship always get better when we raise our level of consciousness and turn on the light.
Conversely,, relationships always get worse when we lower our level of consciousness.
The mind is like a mansion at night. Just turn on the light! It is the kind of focus you take to a relationship any time.
In his previous marriage which did not work out, my friend admitted he left everything to chance.---“how I felt thinking relationship was all about feeling. I waited until I felt like telling her, doing something for my wife, I felt like telling her I appreciated her. The problem was when I felt like it, she wasn't there; when she was there, I often did not feel like it. I let myself in total bondage to my feelings, and the relationship became worse.”
Now, I do things differently. Since I value this new relationship I make sure I treated it well. He created a great relationship with his new wife because he made it his rational and conscious intention to do so. He energized his level of consciousness up by daily listing his priorities of duties, and daily, his wife's name was in code to remind him of her consciously. We either create the relationship or let things happen to destroy itself by taking things for granted about relationship and love. We create the close relationship we want or we can unconsciously follow our feelings. Just follow your feelings, and your heart blindly can backfire.
Thus, we have a choice---to build a higher consciousness to lead us to a happy life, and the other choice leads us to the ongoing magic of human mood swings. Which choice do you want?
We often seem to go wrong in misunderstanding the mechanics of love. We associate love with feelings; absence of love with feelings; in fact we turn the whole idea of relationship with feelings. At home as well as in workplace. That is our first mistake.
Because love is NOT a feeling. Love is a CREATION, and ,therefore, love comes from the SPIRIT.---from the highest level of human being, and love makes access to our powers of imagination.
Emmer Fox puts it aptly,"Love is always creative and fear is always destructive.”
Steve Chandler, the motivational speaker, and author of "100 ways to motivate yourself and reinventing yourself" and "50 ways to create GREAT Relationships--How to stop taking and start giving" says, "You can change everything when you make it your gentle practice to create rather than react.--in business and in life.”
"Dead fish react to everything, rock, branch and flow of water. Dead things react. Animals react all day—responding what stimulates them at the moment.---the smell of food, the sight of my taking my dog for a walk. Live fish don't react, they create. They create a path through the water where they want to go. If we react to other people, we are dead already....responding to the life of the other person." says,
Steve Chandler.
The problem is easy and gentle. You can change everything by creating than by reacting. By paradigm shifting to a higher gear of creativity, that makes everything smooth again.
Even before conversing with another person, visualize the best relationship you can imagine, and all future conversations are influenced by that image..
Reactors do the opposite. No vision until the other person appears, then the reacting begins. What if the other person does not appreciate me or I do not get what I want?—it is a habit by default.
When we refuse to create a relationship we cannot but react. Thus, the first choice in building a good relationship is knowing what choice to shift. Repetition of the awareness of choice to shift up to your imagination at any time can create people who always feel turned on by life, but reacting to other people often turn them off in life.
Builders of great relationship are willing to grow continuously and change their personalities so as to make and keep new commitments. One speaker in self-esteem workshop was terrified of people what they thought of her as a speaker---unless she used facts, figures and studies to support her workshop. She was obsessed with her reputation and personality, and her fear was running her life. Living her life this way, like many people do—when trying to control what other people think, is like trying to nail jelly-O to the wall or shoveling mercury with a pitchfork.
To overcome her fear, she could practise random acts of kindness. Acts of kindness does not depend who you are, your personality, they actually create who you are. The acts come first, followed by the personality. Do not wait in your nature to do it. Who I am is what I do, by losing your "self"., forgetting your reputation of what people think of you.
If you know how to handle a woman, then you are likely be able to handle a teenager, a customer, business partner or handle any relationship. The element of surprise is a good strategic advantage in relationship.
Some call it the gift of time, compassion, listening, service and so on. The best kind anyone ever gets is the unexpected gift, the one they never dreamed of, e.g. Thanking people in ways they didn't expect. After a woman lost a child through lymphomia, she decided to donate $50,000 to buy a new laboratory equipment. One day, the hematologists invited Mrs. Johnson and presented her copies of magazines, hematologists read. "You have saved eight people, and we honor your name in our magazine---something very important as a way of honoring the memory of your son."
Thus, you can develop your creativity and consciousness to make your relationships deeper and more satisfying.---to those around you.--by starting to give and stopping to take.—the key to creating good and great relationships.
When we first learn to drive a car, we focus, completely engrossed, learning to drive. Later on mastering driving, we proceed to automate it.
It becomes so rote and automatic. It is human nature to turn tasks into routines.
It is the same manner with relationships, creating good relationships. Starting with full fervor and commitment, we often end up passively going through the motions. When our relationships begin to fizzle, we wonder what happened, because we continue our relationship at a very low level of consciousness.
Why do we lose the appeal?
How can we rekindle that relationship? That power lies within us.
Relationship always get better when we raise our level of consciousness and turn on the light.
Conversely,, relationships always get worse when we lower our level of consciousness.
The mind is like a mansion at night. Just turn on the light! It is the kind of focus you take to a relationship any time.
In his previous marriage which did not work out, my friend admitted he left everything to chance.---“how I felt thinking relationship was all about feeling. I waited until I felt like telling her, doing something for my wife, I felt like telling her I appreciated her. The problem was when I felt like it, she wasn't there; when she was there, I often did not feel like it. I let myself in total bondage to my feelings, and the relationship became worse.”
Now, I do things differently. Since I value this new relationship I make sure I treated it well. He created a great relationship with his new wife because he made it his rational and conscious intention to do so. He energized his level of consciousness up by daily listing his priorities of duties, and daily, his wife's name was in code to remind him of her consciously. We either create the relationship or let things happen to destroy itself by taking things for granted about relationship and love. We create the close relationship we want or we can unconsciously follow our feelings. Just follow your feelings, and your heart blindly can backfire.
Thus, we have a choice---to build a higher consciousness to lead us to a happy life, and the other choice leads us to the ongoing magic of human mood swings. Which choice do you want?
We often seem to go wrong in misunderstanding the mechanics of love. We associate love with feelings; absence of love with feelings; in fact we turn the whole idea of relationship with feelings. At home as well as in workplace. That is our first mistake.
Because love is NOT a feeling. Love is a CREATION, and ,therefore, love comes from the SPIRIT.---from the highest level of human being, and love makes access to our powers of imagination.
Emmer Fox puts it aptly,"Love is always creative and fear is always destructive.”
Steve Chandler, the motivational speaker, and author of "100 ways to motivate yourself and reinventing yourself" and "50 ways to create GREAT Relationships--How to stop taking and start giving" says, "You can change everything when you make it your gentle practice to create rather than react.--in business and in life.”
"Dead fish react to everything, rock, branch and flow of water. Dead things react. Animals react all day—responding what stimulates them at the moment.---the smell of food, the sight of my taking my dog for a walk. Live fish don't react, they create. They create a path through the water where they want to go. If we react to other people, we are dead already....responding to the life of the other person." says,
Steve Chandler.
The problem is easy and gentle. You can change everything by creating than by reacting. By paradigm shifting to a higher gear of creativity, that makes everything smooth again.
Even before conversing with another person, visualize the best relationship you can imagine, and all future conversations are influenced by that image..
Reactors do the opposite. No vision until the other person appears, then the reacting begins. What if the other person does not appreciate me or I do not get what I want?—it is a habit by default.
When we refuse to create a relationship we cannot but react. Thus, the first choice in building a good relationship is knowing what choice to shift. Repetition of the awareness of choice to shift up to your imagination at any time can create people who always feel turned on by life, but reacting to other people often turn them off in life.
Builders of great relationship are willing to grow continuously and change their personalities so as to make and keep new commitments. One speaker in self-esteem workshop was terrified of people what they thought of her as a speaker---unless she used facts, figures and studies to support her workshop. She was obsessed with her reputation and personality, and her fear was running her life. Living her life this way, like many people do—when trying to control what other people think, is like trying to nail jelly-O to the wall or shoveling mercury with a pitchfork.
To overcome her fear, she could practise random acts of kindness. Acts of kindness does not depend who you are, your personality, they actually create who you are. The acts come first, followed by the personality. Do not wait in your nature to do it. Who I am is what I do, by losing your "self"., forgetting your reputation of what people think of you.
If you know how to handle a woman, then you are likely be able to handle a teenager, a customer, business partner or handle any relationship. The element of surprise is a good strategic advantage in relationship.
Some call it the gift of time, compassion, listening, service and so on. The best kind anyone ever gets is the unexpected gift, the one they never dreamed of, e.g. Thanking people in ways they didn't expect. After a woman lost a child through lymphomia, she decided to donate $50,000 to buy a new laboratory equipment. One day, the hematologists invited Mrs. Johnson and presented her copies of magazines, hematologists read. "You have saved eight people, and we honor your name in our magazine---something very important as a way of honoring the memory of your son."
Thus, you can develop your creativity and consciousness to make your relationships deeper and more satisfying.---to those around you.--by starting to give and stopping to take.—the key to creating good and great relationships.
5. THE DECISION FOR CHANGE CAN BE AN INSTANT!
5. THE DECISION FOR CHANGE CAN BE AN INSTANT!
How long does it take to make a decision to change? It takes a nanosecond, but a lifetime of passionate pursuit to maintain excellence or achieve world-class-standard.
"If you want to achieve excellence, you can get it today in a second, by quitting doing less-than- excellent work."--IBM Founder, Thomas Watson. A profound thought, but true!
The first thing is the determination to do it, and not to compromise, no matter what roadblocks your peers may erect for you. The other 99.9% is persistently doing it to:-
(1) keep your spirits high through any inevitable storms,
(2) learn something new every day, and
(3) practice until it becomes part of you.
Persistence will bring success, not because the nature of things has changed but the will to do is made easier, advised by Emerson and Hugh Grant, Church Leader.
It holds true for any job you undertake, clerk, nurse to the CEO, or even, quitting bad habits, like smoking, drinking alcohol or taking drugs.
The determined shift of mind-set is an all-or-nothing deal. Many people lament on how long it takes to achieve change. Is it really true? No, it takes a long time to MAINTAIN CHANGE!
The decision to change is simple. Honest. But to remain changed and maintaining it may require lifetime pursuit.
"Mockingbirds" by Mary Oliver, poet, tells of a very poor couple, who was visited by unexpected strangers, gods in disguise. They had nothing to feed them, but being attentive to listen to them....as the finest gift human beings could have made.
With the advanced technology, new competitors, new everything, the gift of human attention is the best blessing to have.
Forum Corporation researched and analysed that customers were lost by 14 major manufacturing and service companies:-
* 15 % switched suppliers or left because of quality problems: they found better products.
* 15 % changed to "Cheaper products" elsewhere because of price.
* 70 % of lost customers abandoned, not because of price or quality, but because they didn't like the human side of doing business with the prior provider of product or service.
So, in an age of globalisation, a token of human kindness, like the old couple in "Mockingbirds" is the best gift we can give anyone of our customers. "Change is the door that can only be opened from the inside" from the human heart, whether be motivation or empowerment of people.Terry Neill, Andersen Consulting's world-wide change practice says "Empowerment is not the thing we do to or for people. It's the impediments you take away, leaving space for folks to empower themselves."
How long does it take to make a decision to change? It takes a nanosecond, but a lifetime of passionate pursuit to maintain excellence or achieve world-class-standard.
"If you want to achieve excellence, you can get it today in a second, by quitting doing less-than- excellent work."--IBM Founder, Thomas Watson. A profound thought, but true!
The first thing is the determination to do it, and not to compromise, no matter what roadblocks your peers may erect for you. The other 99.9% is persistently doing it to:-
(1) keep your spirits high through any inevitable storms,
(2) learn something new every day, and
(3) practice until it becomes part of you.
Persistence will bring success, not because the nature of things has changed but the will to do is made easier, advised by Emerson and Hugh Grant, Church Leader.
It holds true for any job you undertake, clerk, nurse to the CEO, or even, quitting bad habits, like smoking, drinking alcohol or taking drugs.
The determined shift of mind-set is an all-or-nothing deal. Many people lament on how long it takes to achieve change. Is it really true? No, it takes a long time to MAINTAIN CHANGE!
The decision to change is simple. Honest. But to remain changed and maintaining it may require lifetime pursuit.
"Mockingbirds" by Mary Oliver, poet, tells of a very poor couple, who was visited by unexpected strangers, gods in disguise. They had nothing to feed them, but being attentive to listen to them....as the finest gift human beings could have made.
With the advanced technology, new competitors, new everything, the gift of human attention is the best blessing to have.
Forum Corporation researched and analysed that customers were lost by 14 major manufacturing and service companies:-
* 15 % switched suppliers or left because of quality problems: they found better products.
* 15 % changed to "Cheaper products" elsewhere because of price.
* 70 % of lost customers abandoned, not because of price or quality, but because they didn't like the human side of doing business with the prior provider of product or service.
So, in an age of globalisation, a token of human kindness, like the old couple in "Mockingbirds" is the best gift we can give anyone of our customers. "Change is the door that can only be opened from the inside" from the human heart, whether be motivation or empowerment of people.Terry Neill, Andersen Consulting's world-wide change practice says "Empowerment is not the thing we do to or for people. It's the impediments you take away, leaving space for folks to empower themselves."
Thursday, March 6, 2008
SOME REFLECTIONS & EXPERIENCE OF MINE
Some reflections and experience of mine.
Whenever we have the opportunity, we should beckon our serendipidity ( a new word meaning the talent for making a useful delivery by chance) to stand for what we strongly believe in, and have the gumption (practical sense) not to be insensitive to arouse racial or cultural issues or values which are held dearly by others. By our respect, tolerant of others, and have patience for success and development, we may imbue them together for eclectic bonding towards a peaceful and harmonious unity of community service, love and understanding.
"I am not very keen for doves or hawks. I thiink we need more owls.," George Aiken.
"Discretion is the salt, and sugar of life; the one preserves, the other sweetens it." Christian Nestle Bovee.
"What is it to be wise? Tis but to know how little can be known---to see all other's faults and feel our own." Alexander Pope.
If you don’t like the output, then change the input.
AS LEADERS WE MUST NOT JUST INFORM PEOPLE, WE MUST TRANSFORM THEM TO A BETTER LIFE; NOT JUST PROVIDE INPUT, BUT CREATE IMPACT IN THEIR LIVES; NOT JUST TO SHARE KNOWLEDGE AND TECHNOLOGY, BUT SHAPE THE DESTINY OF INDIVIDUALS AND NATIONS.
You are designed for accomplishments, engineered for success, and endowed with seeds of greatness.
You can have everything you want in life if you help enough people get what they want.
When you want something badly that you refuse to let go, you will probably get it—Les Brown.
Son: “How much does it cost to get married?”
Father: I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.
Son: “Is it true, Dad. I heard in ancient China, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.”
Father: “That happens everywhere, son, everywhere.
Marriage is like an institution where a man loses his Bachelor degree and the woman gains her Master degree.
Marriage requires a man to prepare four types of rings:
Engagement ring,
Wedding ring,
Suffering, and
Enduring.
Compassion is the exalted state of empathy.
All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all that I have not seen—R. Waldo Emerson.
I am very grateful that Jesus Christ is my Personal Saviour and Redeemer of the World
for his love and sacrifice through his Atonement as decreed in Heaven. His Plan of Salvation or Happiness (or Mercy) I accept wholeheartedly. If anyone who refuses the choice of Mercy being offered, then the person has to face Justice in the eternity.
For me, Gratitude to Heavenly Father and Christ is the mother of all virtues, and the Atonement offered is the Munificence and Mercy of God Almighty who alone can bestow upon us with divine benevolence and blessings. Praise be to his Holy Name!
Whenever we have the opportunity, we should beckon our serendipidity ( a new word meaning the talent for making a useful delivery by chance) to stand for what we strongly believe in, and have the gumption (practical sense) not to be insensitive to arouse racial or cultural issues or values which are held dearly by others. By our respect, tolerant of others, and have patience for success and development, we may imbue them together for eclectic bonding towards a peaceful and harmonious unity of community service, love and understanding.
"I am not very keen for doves or hawks. I thiink we need more owls.," George Aiken.
"Discretion is the salt, and sugar of life; the one preserves, the other sweetens it." Christian Nestle Bovee.
"What is it to be wise? Tis but to know how little can be known---to see all other's faults and feel our own." Alexander Pope.
If you don’t like the output, then change the input.
AS LEADERS WE MUST NOT JUST INFORM PEOPLE, WE MUST TRANSFORM THEM TO A BETTER LIFE; NOT JUST PROVIDE INPUT, BUT CREATE IMPACT IN THEIR LIVES; NOT JUST TO SHARE KNOWLEDGE AND TECHNOLOGY, BUT SHAPE THE DESTINY OF INDIVIDUALS AND NATIONS.
You are designed for accomplishments, engineered for success, and endowed with seeds of greatness.
You can have everything you want in life if you help enough people get what they want.
When you want something badly that you refuse to let go, you will probably get it—Les Brown.
Son: “How much does it cost to get married?”
Father: I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.
Son: “Is it true, Dad. I heard in ancient China, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.”
Father: “That happens everywhere, son, everywhere.
Marriage is like an institution where a man loses his Bachelor degree and the woman gains her Master degree.
Marriage requires a man to prepare four types of rings:
Engagement ring,
Wedding ring,
Suffering, and
Enduring.
Compassion is the exalted state of empathy.
All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all that I have not seen—R. Waldo Emerson.
I am very grateful that Jesus Christ is my Personal Saviour and Redeemer of the World
for his love and sacrifice through his Atonement as decreed in Heaven. His Plan of Salvation or Happiness (or Mercy) I accept wholeheartedly. If anyone who refuses the choice of Mercy being offered, then the person has to face Justice in the eternity.
For me, Gratitude to Heavenly Father and Christ is the mother of all virtues, and the Atonement offered is the Munificence and Mercy of God Almighty who alone can bestow upon us with divine benevolence and blessings. Praise be to his Holy Name!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
4. FOR CHANGE, AVOID TIME WASTERS
4. For change, Avoid time wasters.
Do you know 800-100 million people have land mines spread over 64 countries? " Really?" you might ask. Yes, these mines are embedded in the minds and hearts of those who oppose change and ready to explode whenever someone suggests a better way or a need to change. It seems strange to you that so many are resistant to change or afraid of its consequences. The purpose of these mines is to destroy dreams and demolish creative ideas.
In order to succeed you must be ready to walk through these mine fields of criticisms, ridicules and unbeliefs.
Even David overcame victory over the giant Goliath, despite strong opposition from his brothers and people.
You might have faced such opposition yourself in your family and friends. But, cheer up, this message is to lift up your desires and hopes.
High Achievers have Peak Performance Principles: "they have the heart to PURSUE when others quit."
"Great spirits will always encounter violent opposition from mediocre people."--Albert Eistein.
Do not allow waste "stink up your life, especially time wasters."
Willliam Penn once said, "Time is what we use most, but what we use worst."
One of the real secrets of success is the continually evaluate your daily routine so as to insure performing the highest level of tasks and priorities.
"Time is a person's most precious commodity." --George Shinn, owner of NBA Basketball team and operate some 30 other Corporations.
"Your time should pay high dividends, whether be time spent at work or at leisure."
Let us consider what robs us of productive time.
Eliminate time wasters--by George in "The Miracles of Motivation."
1. Protect yourself from distractions and interruptions.
2. Explore alternatives when travel and wasting time or when one-hour lunch appointment can easily use up 2-3 hours of your time.
3. Take immediate actions is better than putting things off.
4. Getting meeting on time, with a definite agenda and everyone comes prepared for the committee meeting.
5.Faith and action will rid of most worries as time wasters.
6. Solve time problem by delegating tasks to others so they can focus on their highest calling.
By time management schedule and avoid time wasters, you can use time wisely for your own benefit and that of others…and invariably you bring change in life-style and behavior.
Do you know 800-100 million people have land mines spread over 64 countries? " Really?" you might ask. Yes, these mines are embedded in the minds and hearts of those who oppose change and ready to explode whenever someone suggests a better way or a need to change. It seems strange to you that so many are resistant to change or afraid of its consequences. The purpose of these mines is to destroy dreams and demolish creative ideas.
In order to succeed you must be ready to walk through these mine fields of criticisms, ridicules and unbeliefs.
Even David overcame victory over the giant Goliath, despite strong opposition from his brothers and people.
You might have faced such opposition yourself in your family and friends. But, cheer up, this message is to lift up your desires and hopes.
High Achievers have Peak Performance Principles: "they have the heart to PURSUE when others quit."
"Great spirits will always encounter violent opposition from mediocre people."--Albert Eistein.
Do not allow waste "stink up your life, especially time wasters."
Willliam Penn once said, "Time is what we use most, but what we use worst."
One of the real secrets of success is the continually evaluate your daily routine so as to insure performing the highest level of tasks and priorities.
"Time is a person's most precious commodity." --George Shinn, owner of NBA Basketball team and operate some 30 other Corporations.
"Your time should pay high dividends, whether be time spent at work or at leisure."
Let us consider what robs us of productive time.
Eliminate time wasters--by George in "The Miracles of Motivation."
1. Protect yourself from distractions and interruptions.
2. Explore alternatives when travel and wasting time or when one-hour lunch appointment can easily use up 2-3 hours of your time.
3. Take immediate actions is better than putting things off.
4. Getting meeting on time, with a definite agenda and everyone comes prepared for the committee meeting.
5.Faith and action will rid of most worries as time wasters.
6. Solve time problem by delegating tasks to others so they can focus on their highest calling.
By time management schedule and avoid time wasters, you can use time wisely for your own benefit and that of others…and invariably you bring change in life-style and behavior.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
3. CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR FOR BAD HABITS TAKES TIME
CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR FOR BAD HABITS TAKES TIME
For those who want to escape addiction, and deep-seated compulsive behavior, talking alone is not enough.
Victims should focus on action change, while loved ones/counsellors focus on the feelings of victims, with love, understanding, correction, coaxing, encouragement, and patience.
There are three principles to bear in mind.
1. Any change is a continuous process, never one time act.; it is a life-long process.
Pernicious points touching his whole life and his belief.
2. Compulsive act can be broken by force, as many believe.. Structural barrier is removed. Force can help is a misconception. Satan uses force, affecting free agency.(D & C 121:46).
3. Charity is not by compulsory means. It is gently handled by submission, rather than subjugation. or force.
Compulsive behaviour can be broken by repentance and avoidance of indulgence, while loved ones support and should care and concern for the victim.
The Cycle of Compulsive Behavior:(Compulsive Cycle)
1. Feeling of isolation from loved ones.
2. Acts of indulgence (e.g. taking alcohol, drugs).
3. Feelings of self-hatred ( low self-esteem).
4. Act of Concealment (hiding from people who love you).and , thus, going back to the feelings of isolation and the Cycle of Compulsive Behavior).
We can initiate the beakaway from the Cycle of Compulsive Behavior (Compulsive Cycle) through the Cycle of Success or Joy.(Joy Cycle).
Feelings of isolation can be replaced by the Feelings of Belonginess from the loved oned ones, like care and concern, love, understanding and good relationship with the victim..
The acts of indulgence should be replaced by the acts of progression ( practice, skills, habits) with the conducive environment to provide good feelings of belonginess, and optimal thinking instead of negative thinking.
The Feeling of self-hatred is replaced by recognition of self-esteem through loving emotion, and thinking.
Lastly, the acts of concealment should be replaced with the acts of disclosure (through communication, coaching, and sharing/discussing ideas).
Thus, Joy Cycle are these:-
1. Feelings of Belonginess (good relationship, love, and understanding)
2. Acts of Progression.(through optimal thinking and good emotions poured out)
3. Self-esteem.(good and self-confident)
4. Acts of Disclosure (recognition through Commmunication, coaching and sharing)
To convert change in bad habitual behavior requires coaching, counselling, mentoring, encouragement, never-give-up attitude, love, understanding and lots of patience for weeks, months and , maybe, years of patient nuturing in a friendly and supportive environment from those who care and concern for their well-being.
For those who want to escape addiction, and deep-seated compulsive behavior, talking alone is not enough.
Victims should focus on action change, while loved ones/counsellors focus on the feelings of victims, with love, understanding, correction, coaxing, encouragement, and patience.
There are three principles to bear in mind.
1. Any change is a continuous process, never one time act.; it is a life-long process.
Pernicious points touching his whole life and his belief.
2. Compulsive act can be broken by force, as many believe.. Structural barrier is removed. Force can help is a misconception. Satan uses force, affecting free agency.(D & C 121:46).
3. Charity is not by compulsory means. It is gently handled by submission, rather than subjugation. or force.
Compulsive behaviour can be broken by repentance and avoidance of indulgence, while loved ones support and should care and concern for the victim.
The Cycle of Compulsive Behavior:(Compulsive Cycle)
1. Feeling of isolation from loved ones.
2. Acts of indulgence (e.g. taking alcohol, drugs).
3. Feelings of self-hatred ( low self-esteem).
4. Act of Concealment (hiding from people who love you).and , thus, going back to the feelings of isolation and the Cycle of Compulsive Behavior).
We can initiate the beakaway from the Cycle of Compulsive Behavior (Compulsive Cycle) through the Cycle of Success or Joy.(Joy Cycle).
Feelings of isolation can be replaced by the Feelings of Belonginess from the loved oned ones, like care and concern, love, understanding and good relationship with the victim..
The acts of indulgence should be replaced by the acts of progression ( practice, skills, habits) with the conducive environment to provide good feelings of belonginess, and optimal thinking instead of negative thinking.
The Feeling of self-hatred is replaced by recognition of self-esteem through loving emotion, and thinking.
Lastly, the acts of concealment should be replaced with the acts of disclosure (through communication, coaching, and sharing/discussing ideas).
Thus, Joy Cycle are these:-
1. Feelings of Belonginess (good relationship, love, and understanding)
2. Acts of Progression.(through optimal thinking and good emotions poured out)
3. Self-esteem.(good and self-confident)
4. Acts of Disclosure (recognition through Commmunication, coaching and sharing)
To convert change in bad habitual behavior requires coaching, counselling, mentoring, encouragement, never-give-up attitude, love, understanding and lots of patience for weeks, months and , maybe, years of patient nuturing in a friendly and supportive environment from those who care and concern for their well-being.
What type of person are you prone to?
Which type of person are you prone to?
By Anthony Lim, 4 March, 2008.
How can we impart knowledge to others in such a way that they can understand and appreciate it? How can we train or even coach others to understand people better.?
From my experience, we must first appreciate there are three ways of mind map processes in human beings.
(1) Visual process--- some people are attracted more to visual images....35% of people.
(2) Auditory process--some people are drawn more to auditory or hearing process....25 % of the people.
(3) Kinesthetic (kinas) process---many people are more sensitive to kinesthetic process, feeling or emotion....40% of the people make up this group. People respond to feeling or emotion faster, they react or proact through their feelings in a given situation, like flight. fight or fear responses readily.
While it may be true there are others who make up the thinking type, which I believe are also present in the above three groups. But what make them more responsive or visible in the mind map process, which appeals to them initially and habitually?
Are you more attracted to visual, auditory or kinesthetic process or combination of these (through experience)?
S-space repetition--Auditory proned.
A-autosuggestion--Kinesthetic leaning.
V-visualisation--visual oriented.
E-experience- Combined the three processes.
When you understand yourself, or others, which type you belong to or are more prone to which mind map process, you are more likely to know how to present your delivery of speech, presentation or appeal to the audience more receptive than otherwise. In fact, you can also relate how you can help loved ones on a closer relationship or for that matter, anyone, to be more agreeable to their liking or preference.
So, which type are you? Or which types belong to your spouse, children, friends, strangers, or even customers? By observation and experience, you relate to each type according to the appeal of the process they prefer, in order to reach out to them, better understand them, and get their co-operation easier.
So, let us examine what type is classified as visual, auditory or kinesthetic type?
A person is a visual type, who speaks fast, looks, pictures or describes images. Can you picture my house? The visual person looks up, left, right, and stares. Unfocussed. George Bush has high pitched voice. Good memory, and right often on future happenings
Can you show me more? Let me illustrate to you. That is a bright idea! And I like the looks of it, but…….., Looks good. Show me more please…
Here’s my view…….………After what I have shown you, what is your input? Rubs his face.
Has vision, perceives, illustrates, repeats, reviews, surveys, perspective.
Headmaster can look into behavior of pupils.
Subconsciously reciprocates.
An auditory type looks right but settles sideways, hears and says it “sounds good to me”. Speaks in a rhythm and sings. Low pitched voice. Charismatic speaker. How does it sound to you? That idea rings the bell…. Did you hear about this one? Can you tell me more? How do you sound to you? Explain and summarize.
Talks in good tone. Expresses, Remarks, Gives opinions.
Kinesthetic person likes to fondle pen, toy, or holds something and feels things with his hands. Looks down, penguin type, and converts words into feeling. Thinks of the town, birthplace, different family members where they work;he pictures the sound of the sea and feels the place.
They are slow on touching people.
(Visual and auditory people are fast),
Kinesthetic eyes move up and down, move right, left and they talk about the past.
How do you feel about it? How do you grab it? Can you handle it? Certain pauses. He Feels and touches, even words he speaks relate to emotions.
How are you? How do you feel? Feels, rubs, and impresses. Feels the pressure.
Anything that makes you cry is the change you need. Anything you laugh is that you enjoy. Kinas people show these attributes more.
If your client or spouse is a visual type, show him/her the presentation, chart, photos, with explaination. Vision and mission.
If your client is more auditory type, Repeat your message, poem or song, so that the sounds are delightful to his/her ears.
For the kinesthetic type, tell about the past, present and the future. Let him/her feel the goodness of your experience. Let him/her feel the object of your message, laugh or cry, or enjoy it.
Studying these types of people under “SAVE” will help you deliver yourself better in speeches, relationship and live in a harmonious and peaceful environment, with others.
By Anthony Lim, 4 March, 2008.
How can we impart knowledge to others in such a way that they can understand and appreciate it? How can we train or even coach others to understand people better.?
From my experience, we must first appreciate there are three ways of mind map processes in human beings.
(1) Visual process--- some people are attracted more to visual images....35% of people.
(2) Auditory process--some people are drawn more to auditory or hearing process....25 % of the people.
(3) Kinesthetic (kinas) process---many people are more sensitive to kinesthetic process, feeling or emotion....40% of the people make up this group. People respond to feeling or emotion faster, they react or proact through their feelings in a given situation, like flight. fight or fear responses readily.
While it may be true there are others who make up the thinking type, which I believe are also present in the above three groups. But what make them more responsive or visible in the mind map process, which appeals to them initially and habitually?
Are you more attracted to visual, auditory or kinesthetic process or combination of these (through experience)?
S-space repetition--Auditory proned.
A-autosuggestion--Kinesthetic leaning.
V-visualisation--visual oriented.
E-experience- Combined the three processes.
When you understand yourself, or others, which type you belong to or are more prone to which mind map process, you are more likely to know how to present your delivery of speech, presentation or appeal to the audience more receptive than otherwise. In fact, you can also relate how you can help loved ones on a closer relationship or for that matter, anyone, to be more agreeable to their liking or preference.
So, which type are you? Or which types belong to your spouse, children, friends, strangers, or even customers? By observation and experience, you relate to each type according to the appeal of the process they prefer, in order to reach out to them, better understand them, and get their co-operation easier.
So, let us examine what type is classified as visual, auditory or kinesthetic type?
A person is a visual type, who speaks fast, looks, pictures or describes images. Can you picture my house? The visual person looks up, left, right, and stares. Unfocussed. George Bush has high pitched voice. Good memory, and right often on future happenings
Can you show me more? Let me illustrate to you. That is a bright idea! And I like the looks of it, but…….., Looks good. Show me more please…
Here’s my view…….………After what I have shown you, what is your input? Rubs his face.
Has vision, perceives, illustrates, repeats, reviews, surveys, perspective.
Headmaster can look into behavior of pupils.
Subconsciously reciprocates.
An auditory type looks right but settles sideways, hears and says it “sounds good to me”. Speaks in a rhythm and sings. Low pitched voice. Charismatic speaker. How does it sound to you? That idea rings the bell…. Did you hear about this one? Can you tell me more? How do you sound to you? Explain and summarize.
Talks in good tone. Expresses, Remarks, Gives opinions.
Kinesthetic person likes to fondle pen, toy, or holds something and feels things with his hands. Looks down, penguin type, and converts words into feeling. Thinks of the town, birthplace, different family members where they work;he pictures the sound of the sea and feels the place.
They are slow on touching people.
(Visual and auditory people are fast),
Kinesthetic eyes move up and down, move right, left and they talk about the past.
How do you feel about it? How do you grab it? Can you handle it? Certain pauses. He Feels and touches, even words he speaks relate to emotions.
How are you? How do you feel? Feels, rubs, and impresses. Feels the pressure.
Anything that makes you cry is the change you need. Anything you laugh is that you enjoy. Kinas people show these attributes more.
If your client or spouse is a visual type, show him/her the presentation, chart, photos, with explaination. Vision and mission.
If your client is more auditory type, Repeat your message, poem or song, so that the sounds are delightful to his/her ears.
For the kinesthetic type, tell about the past, present and the future. Let him/her feel the goodness of your experience. Let him/her feel the object of your message, laugh or cry, or enjoy it.
Studying these types of people under “SAVE” will help you deliver yourself better in speeches, relationship and live in a harmonious and peaceful environment, with others.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
SECRET OF SUCCESS IN LIFE!
Discover the speaking secrets of the great communicators from James C Humes, a man who has advised five U.S. presidents how to succeed!
James C Humes said that studies show the #1 factor for success is communication skills.
It is true that people who rise to the top of their businesses or organizations and who gain prominence in their professions share one common trait – they are people who learned how to communicate effectively!
James C. Humes, the famous presidential speech writer even wrote the words left by the astronauts on the moon..."one step for man, and a leap for mankind".
When you don't know how to speak with power and confidence, you are putting yourself at a severe disadvantage professionally – with implications for your financial well being.
Advice to Churchill: Avoid the Public!
James's Humes related the story of a young man who was such a poor speaker, handicapped with both dyslexia and stuttering, a young man who was rejected from college. His teachers gently advised, because of his difficulty communicating, to avoid any career dealing with the public.
This young man was Winston Churchill! The very same Churchill who went on to become one of the greatest speakers of all time; the same man, through the power of his spoken word, rallied his nation and the Free World to defeat Hitler.
He revealed the speaking secrets of Winston Churchill and other leaders, to improve your relationships with your spouse, children, friends, and even strangers and fellow-workers, to better your career and even to increase your financial potential!
Study after study shows that your communication skills are the key to your advancement. The newsletter Bottom Line Personal recently stated: "As an executive reaches middle-management and beyond, the primary criteria for advancement are communication and motivation skills rather than basic job performance."
If you have not learnt from James C. Humes' secret talk on Communication skills, then learn them from the Toastmasters International Program on leadership and communication skills.....when you take some small steps to think and speak effectively, you pave the way to be a success in leadership and communication skills!
James C Humes said that studies show the #1 factor for success is communication skills.
It is true that people who rise to the top of their businesses or organizations and who gain prominence in their professions share one common trait – they are people who learned how to communicate effectively!
James C. Humes, the famous presidential speech writer even wrote the words left by the astronauts on the moon..."one step for man, and a leap for mankind".
When you don't know how to speak with power and confidence, you are putting yourself at a severe disadvantage professionally – with implications for your financial well being.
Advice to Churchill: Avoid the Public!
James's Humes related the story of a young man who was such a poor speaker, handicapped with both dyslexia and stuttering, a young man who was rejected from college. His teachers gently advised, because of his difficulty communicating, to avoid any career dealing with the public.
This young man was Winston Churchill! The very same Churchill who went on to become one of the greatest speakers of all time; the same man, through the power of his spoken word, rallied his nation and the Free World to defeat Hitler.
He revealed the speaking secrets of Winston Churchill and other leaders, to improve your relationships with your spouse, children, friends, and even strangers and fellow-workers, to better your career and even to increase your financial potential!
Study after study shows that your communication skills are the key to your advancement. The newsletter Bottom Line Personal recently stated: "As an executive reaches middle-management and beyond, the primary criteria for advancement are communication and motivation skills rather than basic job performance."
If you have not learnt from James C. Humes' secret talk on Communication skills, then learn them from the Toastmasters International Program on leadership and communication skills.....when you take some small steps to think and speak effectively, you pave the way to be a success in leadership and communication skills!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
2. CHANGES NECESSARY FOR IMPROVEMENT.
For companies, they also need three things to achieve their goals:-
1. Dream 2. Team 3. System which involves good working habits, boldness, enthusiasm and empathy for others, and emotional intelligence (esp. interpersonal and intrapersonal sociability).
Building success means we have to thrive on change. Changes are necessary because of increased competition, technological improvement, instantaneous communication and demographic and psychological changes. The key-points to succeed in change means while we maintain fundamental principles, we must discard old sets of beliefs and strategies that have helped you to get to where you are, and adopt new strategies.
Belief Cycle involves beliefà focus (goal)à Meaning (Thinking)à Emotion (Feeling)à Actionà Results (Success) --.Belief.
When every new year comes, many companies are planning improvements. Improvements mean change, and even positive workplace change is often met with resistance at many levels. Before resistance can be overcome, it must be understood. The following article discusses some common reasons behind resistance, and tips on how to successfully implement change.
Mergers. Takeovers. Technology. Restructuring. Relocating. Regardless of what form it comes in, many people shudder at the thought of change in the workplace. Resistance to change is such an issue in the workplace, in fact, that an entire field of study has been devoted to it. Change Management, or Human Re-engineering, as it is unfortunately often called, is one of the major issues facing employees and managers today.
Resistance to change is encountered every day in boardrooms, offices, and on factory floors. It is not an isolated 'employee problem', but a reaction that has been ingrained in all of us. It affects not just staff and management, but also customers, suppliers, even family and friends. Instead of simply brushing the conflict aside in hopes that it will disappear, people should consider the causes behind it, and the consequences that it is having on everybody connected to the organization. There are many reasons behind resistance, including:
• Fear of the Unknown: It is a natural instinct in many people to fear the unknown. It is normal for people to worry that they won’t be able to learn a new skill or way of doing things.
• Self-interest: People who profit under an old system often don’t champion a new one.
• Devaluation: Employees, and even managers, may feel that their value or status is being reduced in scope due to the changes. This prompts a natural defensive reaction to the perceived threat.
• Differing Perceptions: Employees who work on the shop floor will see the company differently than those in the sales offices or in administration. Depending on their own experiences and views, people will react to change in various ways. Some will truly believe that the proposed change is wrong for the company
• Habits and Routines: As the saying goes, old habits die hard. Many workplaces have operated under one system for decades. Convincing staff to change their ways can often mean changing something that they worked hard to master and is now second nature to them.1
Somewhere along the way change has gotten a bad rap, synonymous in the workplace with uncertainty, layoffs, and general chaos. What is often overlooked is that lack of change can lead to instability as well. In this age of global competition and advancing technologies, no organization can afford to remain stagnant. In a perfect world, change would be a harmonious and accepted process that carries no negative consequences. In reality things are not always so simple.
As Albert Einstein once observed, "There is only one constant in this universe, and that constant is… change". Thus, the question is not how to eliminate change, but how to facilitate it and make it a positive experience for the company.
Steps can be taken that will help smooth the path for positive workplace change. There are three key factors to successful change:
1. Empathy: Those implementing the change must always consider the effects it will have on others. Sometimes solutions can be found that will avoid negative effects on the organization and those connected to it. People don’t tend to resist change just to be difficult; there are reasons behind their reactions. If you put yourself in their position, you'll probably find that your reaction would be a very similar one.
2. Communication and Participation: Whenever possible, staff should be involved in the process, and be made aware of the reasons behind the proposed change and the benefits it will bring. In an organization with hundreds of employees or multiple locations, this may not be an option. Regardless of the size of the company, change should be an open process, rather than one that occurs behind the closed doors of management offices.
Time: When change is introduced gradually, it is more likely to be accepted. Isaac Newton stated that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. This law of physics can be applied to the field of change management: if change is quickly and forcibly implemented, the resistance it meets will be great. If it is introduced gradually and carefully, it won’t provoke such a negative response.
1. Dream 2. Team 3. System which involves good working habits, boldness, enthusiasm and empathy for others, and emotional intelligence (esp. interpersonal and intrapersonal sociability).
Building success means we have to thrive on change. Changes are necessary because of increased competition, technological improvement, instantaneous communication and demographic and psychological changes. The key-points to succeed in change means while we maintain fundamental principles, we must discard old sets of beliefs and strategies that have helped you to get to where you are, and adopt new strategies.
Belief Cycle involves beliefà focus (goal)à Meaning (Thinking)à Emotion (Feeling)à Actionà Results (Success) --.Belief.
When every new year comes, many companies are planning improvements. Improvements mean change, and even positive workplace change is often met with resistance at many levels. Before resistance can be overcome, it must be understood. The following article discusses some common reasons behind resistance, and tips on how to successfully implement change.
Mergers. Takeovers. Technology. Restructuring. Relocating. Regardless of what form it comes in, many people shudder at the thought of change in the workplace. Resistance to change is such an issue in the workplace, in fact, that an entire field of study has been devoted to it. Change Management, or Human Re-engineering, as it is unfortunately often called, is one of the major issues facing employees and managers today.
Resistance to change is encountered every day in boardrooms, offices, and on factory floors. It is not an isolated 'employee problem', but a reaction that has been ingrained in all of us. It affects not just staff and management, but also customers, suppliers, even family and friends. Instead of simply brushing the conflict aside in hopes that it will disappear, people should consider the causes behind it, and the consequences that it is having on everybody connected to the organization. There are many reasons behind resistance, including:
• Fear of the Unknown: It is a natural instinct in many people to fear the unknown. It is normal for people to worry that they won’t be able to learn a new skill or way of doing things.
• Self-interest: People who profit under an old system often don’t champion a new one.
• Devaluation: Employees, and even managers, may feel that their value or status is being reduced in scope due to the changes. This prompts a natural defensive reaction to the perceived threat.
• Differing Perceptions: Employees who work on the shop floor will see the company differently than those in the sales offices or in administration. Depending on their own experiences and views, people will react to change in various ways. Some will truly believe that the proposed change is wrong for the company
• Habits and Routines: As the saying goes, old habits die hard. Many workplaces have operated under one system for decades. Convincing staff to change their ways can often mean changing something that they worked hard to master and is now second nature to them.1
Somewhere along the way change has gotten a bad rap, synonymous in the workplace with uncertainty, layoffs, and general chaos. What is often overlooked is that lack of change can lead to instability as well. In this age of global competition and advancing technologies, no organization can afford to remain stagnant. In a perfect world, change would be a harmonious and accepted process that carries no negative consequences. In reality things are not always so simple.
As Albert Einstein once observed, "There is only one constant in this universe, and that constant is… change". Thus, the question is not how to eliminate change, but how to facilitate it and make it a positive experience for the company.
Steps can be taken that will help smooth the path for positive workplace change. There are three key factors to successful change:
1. Empathy: Those implementing the change must always consider the effects it will have on others. Sometimes solutions can be found that will avoid negative effects on the organization and those connected to it. People don’t tend to resist change just to be difficult; there are reasons behind their reactions. If you put yourself in their position, you'll probably find that your reaction would be a very similar one.
2. Communication and Participation: Whenever possible, staff should be involved in the process, and be made aware of the reasons behind the proposed change and the benefits it will bring. In an organization with hundreds of employees or multiple locations, this may not be an option. Regardless of the size of the company, change should be an open process, rather than one that occurs behind the closed doors of management offices.
Time: When change is introduced gradually, it is more likely to be accepted. Isaac Newton stated that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. This law of physics can be applied to the field of change management: if change is quickly and forcibly implemented, the resistance it meets will be great. If it is introduced gradually and carefully, it won’t provoke such a negative response.
1. CHANGE CAN BE AN OPPORTUNITY FOR ADVANCEMENT
1. CHANGE CAN BE AN OPPORTUNITY FOR ADVANCEMENT
An important part of building the life and progressing in life, you want is learning to accept change. By accepting it, we should embrace it, and seek the change out.. Change is the principle of life itself. As Charles Darwin has said, "It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."
As a matter of fact, you are changing right this minute without even noticing it. Did you know that the cells in your body are constantly changing and renewing themselves?
Every four weeks, your skin is totally new.
Your gums are replaced every two weeks, and
your stomach lining every four days. Over a year,
95% of all the trillions of cells that make up "you" are changed.
Of course, this is happening with no effort on our part. But if we're called upon to react to a change from the outside, or when we find ourselves in a stagnant situation and know that something needs to change – that's when, for a lot of us, change can be frightening.
This can be from the uncertainty it brings with it, or because it pushes us out of our comfort zone.
What's important to remember is that change always brings opportunity, an opportunity to grow in a new direction.
There is nothing to fear from change. You should only fear not to change, because FEAR is imagining :
(F)False
(E)Emotions
(A)Appearing
(R)Real”
As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience."
You can't afford to let any fears stand in your way. So when a change appears suddenly in your life, rather than retreat into your shell, come out to embrace it, and look for the opportunities it presents to grow.
Or when you reach a stalemate in life, step out boldly and initiate a change yourself.
May you never stop growing.
An important part of building the life and progressing in life, you want is learning to accept change. By accepting it, we should embrace it, and seek the change out.. Change is the principle of life itself. As Charles Darwin has said, "It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."
As a matter of fact, you are changing right this minute without even noticing it. Did you know that the cells in your body are constantly changing and renewing themselves?
Every four weeks, your skin is totally new.
Your gums are replaced every two weeks, and
your stomach lining every four days. Over a year,
95% of all the trillions of cells that make up "you" are changed.
Of course, this is happening with no effort on our part. But if we're called upon to react to a change from the outside, or when we find ourselves in a stagnant situation and know that something needs to change – that's when, for a lot of us, change can be frightening.
This can be from the uncertainty it brings with it, or because it pushes us out of our comfort zone.
What's important to remember is that change always brings opportunity, an opportunity to grow in a new direction.
There is nothing to fear from change. You should only fear not to change, because FEAR is imagining :
(F)False
(E)Emotions
(A)Appearing
(R)Real”
As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience."
You can't afford to let any fears stand in your way. So when a change appears suddenly in your life, rather than retreat into your shell, come out to embrace it, and look for the opportunities it presents to grow.
Or when you reach a stalemate in life, step out boldly and initiate a change yourself.
May you never stop growing.
Monday, February 25, 2008
THE ONLY OPTION
When Winston Churchill spoke to the graduates at one University, he spoke five words of encouragement: Never, never, Never GIVE UP!, then he sat down; he created history for giving the shortest public speech.
Now, shall I sit down?
No, Cheers to the Toastmasters International Club for being the icon for Public Speaking!
This evening, I want to encourage you: The Only Option to achieve Success in your dream in your battle for life. Toastmasters speak, speak, speak and persist, persist, persist in developing Communication skills and Leadership Proficiency.
They do not suffer from Glossophobia (fear of Public Speaking) because they have gone through the grill, the drill and the thrill in Public Speaking program from the Icebreaker speech to more progressive speeches developing the basic skills in Communication from acquiring the Competent Communicator (AC) , Advanced Commuinicator (AC) until achieving the final status of being the Distinguished Toastmaster(DTM).
We persist in practicing the skills until we become perfect., which reminds me about the great psychologist, Emerson's advice, which is also echoed by one Church Leader, Heber J. Grant:
That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do not because the nature of the things has changed, but the power to do is increased.
It is like reaching Mt. Everest in Public Speaking at your own pace! Thanks to Dr. Ralph C. Smedley for pioneering this exclusive training for self-development and organizational leadership where more than 3 million people have benefited from it. Indeed, that which we persist in doing becomes easier.
not that the nature of things has changed but the POWER TO DO becomes EASIER! That is PERSISTENCE with determination and patience!
I believe that Persistency and Never Give Up attitude are keys to the Only Option to achieve Success, when other choices fail.
As a result of Toastmastering,we establishes three Gs--
First G---Gain knowledge about public speaking, communication skills and Leadership Skills. Gain from the Toastmasters' Activities.
Second G---Give and share our knowledge with others through giving role plays like Grammarian, evaluator,general evaluator, and becoming leaders in Exco Members, Area Governor or Div. or District Governor.
The Third G-Grow and Progress in our Leadership Skills and Communication Skills, in a friendly and supportive environment, where we uplift our friends to greater heights.
Thus, we built the three Gs-Gain, Give, and Grow.
Otherwise, we may suffer the opposite effectsof
three Ds- WE may deteriorate, degenerate, and decay/ and die.
Now, do we want to have the three Gs or three Ds?
Of course we want to Gain, Give and Grow in our life. Don't you agree?
Famous individuals in history have the common experience of defeat, even at rock bottom after many years of defeat, suffering, agony and pain.
Yet they picked themselves up and started again. Thomas Edison, after 1000 failures in finding the right bulb filament, has brought darkness to light for the world.
Each failure to him is a lesson learnt as one coming closer to his achievement. Abraham Lincoln failed 18 times to get a public position, but the last one made him one of the most outstanding Presidents of USA\ granting emancipation or freedom from slavery and bondage for the Blacks;
Roger Bannister in 1954 broke the limiting belief of human athletes the four minute mile, after which in the same year, 100 broke the four minute mile. Since then more than 27, 000 have achieved that record.
After many failures by man to reach the highest peak, Mount Everest was conquered by Hillary and Tensing in 1953, after which thousands have followed likewise by following a guided tour, even our three Malaysians reached MT. Everest.
Michael Jordon, the Basketball legend,was a short man of 5 ft high when he was a teenager, including his family members who were short. He was passionate in his desire to be a Basket Ball player, despite the fact that basket ball players were seven feet tall and above. He enrolled himself in a basket Ball College upon being spotted for his talents by his coach. There he practised day and night, even slept there, playing basketball. When he was selected as the player, he worked his way to become a Basket Ball legend, standing about 8 ft tall with acclodes of Basket Ball winnings.
His success---his great passion and persisitence to be a great basket Ball player! That was his only option to his success!
After several years of training. People who succeed have encoded in their subconscious mind the image of success through persistence a powerful success mentality. The same can be said of a failure.
Stop using the negative talk: I can't, and I won't.
Substitute them with positive words like, Yes, I can, I will and I am able. The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can a man be perfected without trials and persistence.
Since the subconscious mind cannot distinguish fact from fiction, encourage actions that confirm positively, e.g. hypnotic effect is true. Nothing can take the place for persistence; talent will not- genius will not-education will not.
Persistence and determination are omnipotent Calvin Coolidge (mid-1920). A man who has gone through trials and persistence will eventually become a better man, more refined in character, understanding and more loving and humble individual. When you dream of victories that lie ahead, think positively, dream big and take small steps of actions to achieve it.
Have you experienced the consuming passion of a lover who persist in capturing the heart of his dream-girl, planning craftily every step of the way? Never, never, NEVER GIVE UP on your dream! The Only Option to achieve Success!
Persist in your righteous desires and your path to attain them becomes easier.
Have written affirmations: Everyday and in every way, I am getting better and better (French psychologist, Emile Coue). .
When Emile went out of drugs for her heart patients, she used the mental therapy on her patients and they recovered believing in her self-talk. A strong belief with persistence enables individuals to achieve seemingly impossible aims, overcoming fear, ridicule, hardship and even pain. How many of you have felt the immerse joy when you have realized your dream-- even despite difficulty, opposition, poverty and even grief? I am convinced that every individual can improve day to day and has a greater capacity to do things from year to year when he has the passion to see it through.
I BELIEVE IN THAT WITH ALL MY HEART. They who improve even one talent will see the day when they will outshine those who have ten talents but fail to improve them. WE have all experienced that it requires no effort at all to roll down the hill but it does require great effort to climb the hill to the summit. No pain, no gain with no persistence.
Yesterday, I heard a man said that he could not give up smoking or drinking. I don't believe he speaks the truth. I think he lacks the disposition to try and give up the bad habit. When someone pleads for help to be given one more chance to change his life, be sure to adorn him with the best robe of service you have, providing support, encouragement and patience.
Be kind to one another in thought, speech and deed. Be a little forgiving to those who are weak for you may never know you may need the forgiveness yourself one day too. When you look into the mirror--who do you see? Your beautiful self. Do you want to be kind to him? Yes. When you treat others, just think you see yourself there.
Treat just as kind to others as you would with yourself in the mirror. Remember, persistence in righteous desires can help us develop talents, attain our goals, and serve others in the spirit of charity. That which we persist in doing diligently becomes easier and achievable to fulfill our dreams. This I believe wholeheartedly. So, do not give up your dream. Never, never, never at all, give up--the only option to achieve success, where and when others fail, in the battle of life. Just do it , do it now, do it again and again until you succeed\x{2014}eventually and you will be blessed abundantly!
There are four qualities that will help you to win the battle of life.
They are :-
1. Consuming passion or obsessive possession of a strong purpose in life. Begin with an end in mind ( your dream/goal/result).
2. Persistence to stick to your dream or desirable goal or strong belief, no matter what.
3. Plan strategies to organize resources of opportunities to get there.
4. Determination to succeed despite failures, rejection, opposition or discouragement.
I believe that when we have an ambition or burning desire to accomplish things, we can achieve anything. I say, ANYTHING, not just something, fellow Toastmasters. Nothing is impossible when you are persistent in working passionately towards your dream, your desirable goal or strong belief.
In order to succeed in life, we should have a MAP for our own chartered course.
M-Motivation or Model. What motivates you to change for the better? SElf Motivation for your goal or strong purpose or a hero model to follow?
A-Awareness.What are your strong points to stress or weaknesses to improve? Self-awareness/appraisal with critical self-analysis.
P-Practice /Persistence...of new model or way to upgrade oneself. Think outside the box for changing to an open mind to accept more ideas.
Without a map in life, we cannot hope to change from bad to good, good to better and better to the best.
As a Leader, Ceo or a parent, we should create a conducive environment for people to accept change and meet challenges in life. Toastmasters Clubs provide a supportive and friendly environment for learning, for growth-climate to thrive on. A conducive environment is the key to accept changes or meet challenges for improvement, and provide creativity and outside the box type of thinking of new ideas and acceptance.....LOVE, understanding, kindness to one another, forgiving and uplifting one another are some great feelers of growth-climate for individuals to grow and progress, with greater skills in communication,leadership, knowledge, & technology.
Lee Kuan Yew, the former Prime Minister of Singapore, once , a remarked, "No one has the right to criticize another without an alternative solution to the problem."
Building a close relationship with people requires an emotional intelligence to interact with people kindly through respect and trust, which provide special bonds between two parties.
Do you honestly believe that? In business, fear of failure and fear of change for a persisting period are the two factors that most hinder our progress. I believe that most fears are based on events that have happened nowhere else than in our imagination.
It is said that fear is a dark room where negatives are developed and that it is an acronym for:-
F - FALSE
E - EXPECTATIONS
A - APPEARING
R - REAL
Think about the time and energy you put into fear inducing negative scenarios.
How different it would be if the same time and energy were spent thinking about successful outcomes.
From my own experience, I was a lousy artist. In fact when I was in primary school, my teacher said I drew pictures like humpty dumpty\x{2014}oversized head and small bodies. I was embarrassed.
So, I decided to find out who was the best artist in class. At art class, I sat next to him, making him my best friend.
I copied what he drew, got tips from him, practiced at home, drawing my favorite persons, like the three musketeers. At the Govt. exam. I won the top artist award, and everyone was shocked. I persisted and practiced hard at home.
Even my son, Elisha Lim, and daughter, Vivien Lim, achieved A1 in art after some tips on how to draw and color in the SPM exams. They did not attend art classes then. How did they do it? people inquired. They were grilled, drilled and thrilled in the art techniques for the SPM examinations. That which we persist in doing becomes EASIER not because the nature of things has changed but the power to do is increased and perfected. So, Never, Never, NEVER GIVE UP --the Only Option to achieve Success--at all in the battle of life, and you will surely be richly rewarded at last!
Wishing all of you the best for the coming year! I challenge each one of you to practice the Only Option to achieve Success---never, never, NEVER GIVE UP in your dreams! THINK of this as the ONLY OPTION you should practice---PERSIST and Make your dream a REALITY!
When Winston Churchill spoke to the graduates at one University, he spoke five words of encouragement: Never, never, Never GIVE UP!, then he sat down; he created history for giving the shortest public speech.
Now, shall I sit down?
No, Cheers to the Toastmasters International Club for being the icon for Public Speaking!
This evening, I want to encourage you: The Only Option to achieve Success in your dream in your battle for life. Toastmasters speak, speak, speak and persist, persist, persist in developing Communication skills and Leadership Proficiency.
They do not suffer from Glossophobia (fear of Public Speaking) because they have gone through the grill, the drill and the thrill in Public Speaking program from the Icebreaker speech to more progressive speeches developing the basic skills in Communication from acquiring the Competent Comunicator (CC) ,Advanced Communicator (AC) until achieving the final status of being the Distinguished Toastmaster(DTM).
We persist in practicing the skills until we become perfect, which reminds me about the great psychologist, Emerson's advice, which is also echoed by one Church Leader, Heber J. Grant:
That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do not because the nature of the things has changed, but the power to do is increased.
It is like reaching Mt. Everest in Public Speaking at your own pace! Thanks to Dr. Ralph C. Smedley for pioneering this exclusive training for self-development and organizational leadership where more than 3 million people have benefited from it. Indeed, that which we persist in doing becomes easier.
not that the nature of things has changed but the POWER TO DO becomes EASIER! That is PERSISTENCE with determination and patience!
I believe that Persistency and Never Give Up attitude are keys to the Only Option to achieve Success, when other choices fail.
As a result of Toastmastering,we establishe three Gs--
First G---Gain knowledge about public speaking, communication skills and Leadership Skills. Gain from the Toastmasters' Activities.
Second G---Give and share our knoledge with others through giving role plays like Grammarian, evaluator,general evaluator, and becoming leaders in Exco Members, Area Governor or Div. or District Governor.
The Third G-Grow and Progress in our Leadership Skills and Communication Skills, in a friendly and supportive environment, where we uplift our friends to greater heights.
Thus, we build the three Gs-Gain, Give, and Grow.
Otherwise, we may suffer the opposite effects of three Ds- WE may deteriorate, degenerate, and decay/ and die. Now, do we want to have the three Gs or three Ds?
Of course we want to Gain, Give and Grow in our life. Don't you agree?
Famous individuals in history have the common experience of defeat, even at rock bottom after many years of defeat, suffering, agony and pain.
Yet they picked themselves up and started again. Thomas Edison, after 1000 failures in finding the right bulb filament, has brought darkness to light for the world.
Each failure to him is a lesson learnt as one coming closer to his achievement. Abraham Lincoln failed 18 times to get a public position, but the last one made him one of the most outstanding Presidents of USA granting emancipation or freedom from slavery and bondage for the Blacks;
Roger Bannister in 1954 broke the limiting belief of human athletes the four minute mile, after which in the same year, 100 broke the four minute mile. Since then more than 27, 000 have achieved that record.
After many failures by man to reach the highest peak, Mount Everest was conquered by Hillary and Tensing in 1953, after which thousands have followed likewise by following a guided tour, even our three Malaysians reached MT. Everest.
Michael Jordon, the Basketball legend,was a short man of 5 ft high when he was a teenager, including his family members who were short. He was passionate in his desire to be a Basket Ball player, despite the fact that basket ball players were seven feet tall and above. He enrolled himself in a basket Ball College upon being spotted for his talents by his coach. There he practised day and night, even slept there, playing basketball. When he was selected as the player, he worked his way to become a Basket Ball legend, standing about 8 ft tall with acclodes of Basket Ball winnings.
His success---his great passion and persisitence to be a great basket Ball player! That was his only option to his success!
After several years of training. People who succeed have encoded in their subconscious mind the image of success through persistence a powerful success mentality. The same can be said of a failure.
Stop using the negative talk- I can't, I won't.
Substitute them with positive words like Yes, I can I will and I am able. The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can a man be perfected without trials and persistence.
Since the subconscious mind cannot distinguish fact from fiction, encourage actions that confirm positively, e.g. hypnotic effect is true. Nothing can take the place for persistence; with the right attitude and action, anything can become possible, talent will not- genius will not-education will not.
Persistence and determination are omnipotent Calvin Coolidge (mid-1920). A man who has gone through trials and persistence will eventually become a better man, more refined in character, understanding and more loving and humble individual. When you dream of victories that lie ahead, think positively, dream big and take small steps of actions to achieve it.
Have you experienced the consuming passion of a lover who persist in capturing the heart of his dream-girl, planning craftily every step of the way? Never, never, NEVER GIVE UP on your dream! The Only Option to achieve Success!
Persist in your righteous desires and your path to attain them becomes easier.
Have written affirmations: Everyday and in every way, I am getting better and better (French psychologist, Emile Coue). .
When Emile went out of drugs for her heart patients, she used the mental therapy on her patients and they recovered believing in her self-talk. A strong belief with persistence enables individuals to achieve seemingly impossible aims, overcoming fear, ridicule, hardship and even pain. How many of you have felt the immerse joy when you have realized your dream-- even despite difficulty, opposition, poverty and even grief? I am convinced that every individual can improve day to day and has a greater capacity to do things from year to year when he has the passion to see it through.
I BELIEVE IN THAT WITH ALL MY HEART. They who improve even one talent will see the day when they will outshine those who have ten talents but fail to improve them. WE have all experienced that it requires no effort at all to roll down the hill but it does require great effort to climb the hill to the summit. No pain, no gain with no persistence.
Yesterday, I heard a man said that he could not give up smoking or drinking. I don't believe he speaks the truth. I think he lacks the disposition to try and give up the bad habit. When someone pleads for help to be given one more chance to change his life, be sure to adorn him with the best robe of service you have, providing support, encouragement and patience.
Be kind to one another in thought, speech and deed. Be a little forgiving to those who are weak for you may never know you may need the forgiveness yourself one day too. When you look into the mirror--who do you see? Your beautiful self. Do you want to be kind to him? Yes. When you treat others, just think you see yourself there.
Treat just as kind to others as you would with yourself in the mirror. Remember, persistence in righteous desires can help us develop talents, attain our goals, and serve others in the spirit of charity. That which we persist in doing diligently becomes easier and achievable to fulfill our dreams. This I believe wholeheartedly. So, do not give up your dream. Never, never, never at all, give up--the only option to achieve success, where and when others fail, in the battle of life. Just do it , do it now, do it again and again until you succeed eventually and you will be blessed abundantly!
There are four qualities that will help you to win the battle of life.
They are :-
1. Consuming passion or obsessive possession of a strong purpose in life. Begin with an end in mind ( your dream/goal/result).
2. Persistence to stick to your dream or desirable goal or strong belief, no matter what.
3. Plan strategies to organize resources of opportunities to get there.
4. Determination to succeed despite failures, rejection, opposition or discouragement.
I believe that when we have an ambition or burning desire to accomplish things, we can achieve anything. I say, ANYTHING, not just something, fellow Toastmasters. Nothing is impossible when you are persistent in working passionately towards your dream, your desirable goal or strong belief.
In order to succeed in life, we should have a MAP for our own chartered course.
M-Motivation or Model. What motivates you to change for the better? SElf Motivation for your goal or strong purpose or a hero model to follow?
A-Awareness.What are your strong points to stress or weaknesses to improve? Self-awareness/appraisal with critical self-analysis.
P-Practice /Persistence...of new model or way to upgrade oneself. Think outside the box for changing to an open mind to accept more ideas.
Without a map in life, we cannot hope to change from bad to good, good to better and better to the best.
As a Leader, Ceo or a parent, we should create a conducive environment for people to accept change and meet challenges in life. Toastmasters Clubs provide a supportive and friendly environment for learning, for growth-climate to thrive on. A conducive environment is the key to accept changes or meet challenges for improvement, and provide creativity and outside the box type of thinking of new ideas and acceptance.....LOVE, understanding, kindness to one another, forgiving and uplifting one another are some great feelers of growth-climate for individuals to grow and progress, with greater skills in communication,leadership, knowledge, & technology.
Lee Kuan Yew, the former Prime Minister of Singapore, once , a remarked, "No one has the right to criticize another without an alternative solution to the problem."
Building a close relationship with people requires an emotional intelligence to interact with people kindly through respect and trust, which provide special bonds between two parties.
Do you honestly believe that? In business, fear of failure and fear of change for a persisting period are the two factors that most hinder our progress. I believe that most fears are based on events that have happened nowhere else than in our imagination.
It is said that fear is a dark room where negatives are developed and that it is an acronym for:-
F - FALSE
E - EXPECTATIONS
A - APPEARING
R - REAL
Think about the time and energy you put into fear inducing negative scenarios.
How different it would be if the same time and energy were spent thinking about successful outcomes.
From my own experience, I was a lousy artist. In fact when I was in primary school, my teacher said I drew pictures like humpty dumpty oversized head and small bodies. I was embarrassed.
So, I decided to find out who was the best artist in class. At art class, I sat next to him, making him my best friend.
I copied what he drew, got tips from him, practiced at home, drawing my favorite persons, like the three musketeers. At the Govt. exam. I won the top artist award, and everyone was shocked. I persisted and practiced hard at home.
Even my son, Elisha Lim, and daughter, Vivien Lim, achieved A1 in art after some tips on how to draw and color in the SPM exams. They did not attend art classes then. How did they do it?people inquired. They were grilled, drilled and thrilled in the art techniques for the SPM examinations. That which we persist in doing becomes EASIER , not because the nature of things has changed but the power to do is increased and perfected. So, Never, Never, NEVER GIVE UP --the Only Option to achieve Success--at all in the battle of life, and you will surely be richly rewarded at last!
Wishing all of you the best for the coming year! I challenge each one of you to practice the Only Option to achieve Success---never, never, NEVER GIVE UP in your dreams! THINK of this as the ONLY OPTION you should practice---PERSIST and Make your dream a REALITY!
("The Only Option" by Anthony Lim 17/2/2004. at Federal Hotel, Kuala Lumpur won the International Speech Contest at Bintang ITC Toastmasters Club, Kuala Lumpur)
Now, shall I sit down?
No, Cheers to the Toastmasters International Club for being the icon for Public Speaking!
This evening, I want to encourage you: The Only Option to achieve Success in your dream in your battle for life. Toastmasters speak, speak, speak and persist, persist, persist in developing Communication skills and Leadership Proficiency.
They do not suffer from Glossophobia (fear of Public Speaking) because they have gone through the grill, the drill and the thrill in Public Speaking program from the Icebreaker speech to more progressive speeches developing the basic skills in Communication from acquiring the Competent Communicator (AC) , Advanced Commuinicator (AC) until achieving the final status of being the Distinguished Toastmaster(DTM).
We persist in practicing the skills until we become perfect., which reminds me about the great psychologist, Emerson's advice, which is also echoed by one Church Leader, Heber J. Grant:
That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do not because the nature of the things has changed, but the power to do is increased.
It is like reaching Mt. Everest in Public Speaking at your own pace! Thanks to Dr. Ralph C. Smedley for pioneering this exclusive training for self-development and organizational leadership where more than 3 million people have benefited from it. Indeed, that which we persist in doing becomes easier.
not that the nature of things has changed but the POWER TO DO becomes EASIER! That is PERSISTENCE with determination and patience!
I believe that Persistency and Never Give Up attitude are keys to the Only Option to achieve Success, when other choices fail.
As a result of Toastmastering,we establishes three Gs--
First G---Gain knowledge about public speaking, communication skills and Leadership Skills. Gain from the Toastmasters' Activities.
Second G---Give and share our knowledge with others through giving role plays like Grammarian, evaluator,general evaluator, and becoming leaders in Exco Members, Area Governor or Div. or District Governor.
The Third G-Grow and Progress in our Leadership Skills and Communication Skills, in a friendly and supportive environment, where we uplift our friends to greater heights.
Thus, we built the three Gs-Gain, Give, and Grow.
Otherwise, we may suffer the opposite effectsof
three Ds- WE may deteriorate, degenerate, and decay/ and die.
Now, do we want to have the three Gs or three Ds?
Of course we want to Gain, Give and Grow in our life. Don't you agree?
Famous individuals in history have the common experience of defeat, even at rock bottom after many years of defeat, suffering, agony and pain.
Yet they picked themselves up and started again. Thomas Edison, after 1000 failures in finding the right bulb filament, has brought darkness to light for the world.
Each failure to him is a lesson learnt as one coming closer to his achievement. Abraham Lincoln failed 18 times to get a public position, but the last one made him one of the most outstanding Presidents of USA\ granting emancipation or freedom from slavery and bondage for the Blacks;
Roger Bannister in 1954 broke the limiting belief of human athletes the four minute mile, after which in the same year, 100 broke the four minute mile. Since then more than 27, 000 have achieved that record.
After many failures by man to reach the highest peak, Mount Everest was conquered by Hillary and Tensing in 1953, after which thousands have followed likewise by following a guided tour, even our three Malaysians reached MT. Everest.
Michael Jordon, the Basketball legend,was a short man of 5 ft high when he was a teenager, including his family members who were short. He was passionate in his desire to be a Basket Ball player, despite the fact that basket ball players were seven feet tall and above. He enrolled himself in a basket Ball College upon being spotted for his talents by his coach. There he practised day and night, even slept there, playing basketball. When he was selected as the player, he worked his way to become a Basket Ball legend, standing about 8 ft tall with acclodes of Basket Ball winnings.
His success---his great passion and persisitence to be a great basket Ball player! That was his only option to his success!
After several years of training. People who succeed have encoded in their subconscious mind the image of success through persistence a powerful success mentality. The same can be said of a failure.
Stop using the negative talk: I can't, and I won't.
Substitute them with positive words like, Yes, I can, I will and I am able. The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can a man be perfected without trials and persistence.
Since the subconscious mind cannot distinguish fact from fiction, encourage actions that confirm positively, e.g. hypnotic effect is true. Nothing can take the place for persistence; talent will not- genius will not-education will not.
Persistence and determination are omnipotent Calvin Coolidge (mid-1920). A man who has gone through trials and persistence will eventually become a better man, more refined in character, understanding and more loving and humble individual. When you dream of victories that lie ahead, think positively, dream big and take small steps of actions to achieve it.
Have you experienced the consuming passion of a lover who persist in capturing the heart of his dream-girl, planning craftily every step of the way? Never, never, NEVER GIVE UP on your dream! The Only Option to achieve Success!
Persist in your righteous desires and your path to attain them becomes easier.
Have written affirmations: Everyday and in every way, I am getting better and better (French psychologist, Emile Coue). .
When Emile went out of drugs for her heart patients, she used the mental therapy on her patients and they recovered believing in her self-talk. A strong belief with persistence enables individuals to achieve seemingly impossible aims, overcoming fear, ridicule, hardship and even pain. How many of you have felt the immerse joy when you have realized your dream-- even despite difficulty, opposition, poverty and even grief? I am convinced that every individual can improve day to day and has a greater capacity to do things from year to year when he has the passion to see it through.
I BELIEVE IN THAT WITH ALL MY HEART. They who improve even one talent will see the day when they will outshine those who have ten talents but fail to improve them. WE have all experienced that it requires no effort at all to roll down the hill but it does require great effort to climb the hill to the summit. No pain, no gain with no persistence.
Yesterday, I heard a man said that he could not give up smoking or drinking. I don't believe he speaks the truth. I think he lacks the disposition to try and give up the bad habit. When someone pleads for help to be given one more chance to change his life, be sure to adorn him with the best robe of service you have, providing support, encouragement and patience.
Be kind to one another in thought, speech and deed. Be a little forgiving to those who are weak for you may never know you may need the forgiveness yourself one day too. When you look into the mirror--who do you see? Your beautiful self. Do you want to be kind to him? Yes. When you treat others, just think you see yourself there.
Treat just as kind to others as you would with yourself in the mirror. Remember, persistence in righteous desires can help us develop talents, attain our goals, and serve others in the spirit of charity. That which we persist in doing diligently becomes easier and achievable to fulfill our dreams. This I believe wholeheartedly. So, do not give up your dream. Never, never, never at all, give up--the only option to achieve success, where and when others fail, in the battle of life. Just do it , do it now, do it again and again until you succeed\x{2014}eventually and you will be blessed abundantly!
There are four qualities that will help you to win the battle of life.
They are :-
1. Consuming passion or obsessive possession of a strong purpose in life. Begin with an end in mind ( your dream/goal/result).
2. Persistence to stick to your dream or desirable goal or strong belief, no matter what.
3. Plan strategies to organize resources of opportunities to get there.
4. Determination to succeed despite failures, rejection, opposition or discouragement.
I believe that when we have an ambition or burning desire to accomplish things, we can achieve anything. I say, ANYTHING, not just something, fellow Toastmasters. Nothing is impossible when you are persistent in working passionately towards your dream, your desirable goal or strong belief.
In order to succeed in life, we should have a MAP for our own chartered course.
M-Motivation or Model. What motivates you to change for the better? SElf Motivation for your goal or strong purpose or a hero model to follow?
A-Awareness.What are your strong points to stress or weaknesses to improve? Self-awareness/appraisal with critical self-analysis.
P-Practice /Persistence...of new model or way to upgrade oneself. Think outside the box for changing to an open mind to accept more ideas.
Without a map in life, we cannot hope to change from bad to good, good to better and better to the best.
As a Leader, Ceo or a parent, we should create a conducive environment for people to accept change and meet challenges in life. Toastmasters Clubs provide a supportive and friendly environment for learning, for growth-climate to thrive on. A conducive environment is the key to accept changes or meet challenges for improvement, and provide creativity and outside the box type of thinking of new ideas and acceptance.....LOVE, understanding, kindness to one another, forgiving and uplifting one another are some great feelers of growth-climate for individuals to grow and progress, with greater skills in communication,leadership, knowledge, & technology.
Lee Kuan Yew, the former Prime Minister of Singapore, once , a remarked, "No one has the right to criticize another without an alternative solution to the problem."
Building a close relationship with people requires an emotional intelligence to interact with people kindly through respect and trust, which provide special bonds between two parties.
Do you honestly believe that? In business, fear of failure and fear of change for a persisting period are the two factors that most hinder our progress. I believe that most fears are based on events that have happened nowhere else than in our imagination.
It is said that fear is a dark room where negatives are developed and that it is an acronym for:-
F - FALSE
E - EXPECTATIONS
A - APPEARING
R - REAL
Think about the time and energy you put into fear inducing negative scenarios.
How different it would be if the same time and energy were spent thinking about successful outcomes.
From my own experience, I was a lousy artist. In fact when I was in primary school, my teacher said I drew pictures like humpty dumpty\x{2014}oversized head and small bodies. I was embarrassed.
So, I decided to find out who was the best artist in class. At art class, I sat next to him, making him my best friend.
I copied what he drew, got tips from him, practiced at home, drawing my favorite persons, like the three musketeers. At the Govt. exam. I won the top artist award, and everyone was shocked. I persisted and practiced hard at home.
Even my son, Elisha Lim, and daughter, Vivien Lim, achieved A1 in art after some tips on how to draw and color in the SPM exams. They did not attend art classes then. How did they do it? people inquired. They were grilled, drilled and thrilled in the art techniques for the SPM examinations. That which we persist in doing becomes EASIER not because the nature of things has changed but the power to do is increased and perfected. So, Never, Never, NEVER GIVE UP --the Only Option to achieve Success--at all in the battle of life, and you will surely be richly rewarded at last!
Wishing all of you the best for the coming year! I challenge each one of you to practice the Only Option to achieve Success---never, never, NEVER GIVE UP in your dreams! THINK of this as the ONLY OPTION you should practice---PERSIST and Make your dream a REALITY!
When Winston Churchill spoke to the graduates at one University, he spoke five words of encouragement: Never, never, Never GIVE UP!, then he sat down; he created history for giving the shortest public speech.
Now, shall I sit down?
No, Cheers to the Toastmasters International Club for being the icon for Public Speaking!
This evening, I want to encourage you: The Only Option to achieve Success in your dream in your battle for life. Toastmasters speak, speak, speak and persist, persist, persist in developing Communication skills and Leadership Proficiency.
They do not suffer from Glossophobia (fear of Public Speaking) because they have gone through the grill, the drill and the thrill in Public Speaking program from the Icebreaker speech to more progressive speeches developing the basic skills in Communication from acquiring the Competent Comunicator (CC) ,Advanced Communicator (AC) until achieving the final status of being the Distinguished Toastmaster(DTM).
We persist in practicing the skills until we become perfect, which reminds me about the great psychologist, Emerson's advice, which is also echoed by one Church Leader, Heber J. Grant:
That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do not because the nature of the things has changed, but the power to do is increased.
It is like reaching Mt. Everest in Public Speaking at your own pace! Thanks to Dr. Ralph C. Smedley for pioneering this exclusive training for self-development and organizational leadership where more than 3 million people have benefited from it. Indeed, that which we persist in doing becomes easier.
not that the nature of things has changed but the POWER TO DO becomes EASIER! That is PERSISTENCE with determination and patience!
I believe that Persistency and Never Give Up attitude are keys to the Only Option to achieve Success, when other choices fail.
As a result of Toastmastering,we establishe three Gs--
First G---Gain knowledge about public speaking, communication skills and Leadership Skills. Gain from the Toastmasters' Activities.
Second G---Give and share our knoledge with others through giving role plays like Grammarian, evaluator,general evaluator, and becoming leaders in Exco Members, Area Governor or Div. or District Governor.
The Third G-Grow and Progress in our Leadership Skills and Communication Skills, in a friendly and supportive environment, where we uplift our friends to greater heights.
Thus, we build the three Gs-Gain, Give, and Grow.
Otherwise, we may suffer the opposite effects of three Ds- WE may deteriorate, degenerate, and decay/ and die. Now, do we want to have the three Gs or three Ds?
Of course we want to Gain, Give and Grow in our life. Don't you agree?
Famous individuals in history have the common experience of defeat, even at rock bottom after many years of defeat, suffering, agony and pain.
Yet they picked themselves up and started again. Thomas Edison, after 1000 failures in finding the right bulb filament, has brought darkness to light for the world.
Each failure to him is a lesson learnt as one coming closer to his achievement. Abraham Lincoln failed 18 times to get a public position, but the last one made him one of the most outstanding Presidents of USA granting emancipation or freedom from slavery and bondage for the Blacks;
Roger Bannister in 1954 broke the limiting belief of human athletes the four minute mile, after which in the same year, 100 broke the four minute mile. Since then more than 27, 000 have achieved that record.
After many failures by man to reach the highest peak, Mount Everest was conquered by Hillary and Tensing in 1953, after which thousands have followed likewise by following a guided tour, even our three Malaysians reached MT. Everest.
Michael Jordon, the Basketball legend,was a short man of 5 ft high when he was a teenager, including his family members who were short. He was passionate in his desire to be a Basket Ball player, despite the fact that basket ball players were seven feet tall and above. He enrolled himself in a basket Ball College upon being spotted for his talents by his coach. There he practised day and night, even slept there, playing basketball. When he was selected as the player, he worked his way to become a Basket Ball legend, standing about 8 ft tall with acclodes of Basket Ball winnings.
His success---his great passion and persisitence to be a great basket Ball player! That was his only option to his success!
After several years of training. People who succeed have encoded in their subconscious mind the image of success through persistence a powerful success mentality. The same can be said of a failure.
Stop using the negative talk- I can't, I won't.
Substitute them with positive words like Yes, I can I will and I am able. The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can a man be perfected without trials and persistence.
Since the subconscious mind cannot distinguish fact from fiction, encourage actions that confirm positively, e.g. hypnotic effect is true. Nothing can take the place for persistence; with the right attitude and action, anything can become possible, talent will not- genius will not-education will not.
Persistence and determination are omnipotent Calvin Coolidge (mid-1920). A man who has gone through trials and persistence will eventually become a better man, more refined in character, understanding and more loving and humble individual. When you dream of victories that lie ahead, think positively, dream big and take small steps of actions to achieve it.
Have you experienced the consuming passion of a lover who persist in capturing the heart of his dream-girl, planning craftily every step of the way? Never, never, NEVER GIVE UP on your dream! The Only Option to achieve Success!
Persist in your righteous desires and your path to attain them becomes easier.
Have written affirmations: Everyday and in every way, I am getting better and better (French psychologist, Emile Coue). .
When Emile went out of drugs for her heart patients, she used the mental therapy on her patients and they recovered believing in her self-talk. A strong belief with persistence enables individuals to achieve seemingly impossible aims, overcoming fear, ridicule, hardship and even pain. How many of you have felt the immerse joy when you have realized your dream-- even despite difficulty, opposition, poverty and even grief? I am convinced that every individual can improve day to day and has a greater capacity to do things from year to year when he has the passion to see it through.
I BELIEVE IN THAT WITH ALL MY HEART. They who improve even one talent will see the day when they will outshine those who have ten talents but fail to improve them. WE have all experienced that it requires no effort at all to roll down the hill but it does require great effort to climb the hill to the summit. No pain, no gain with no persistence.
Yesterday, I heard a man said that he could not give up smoking or drinking. I don't believe he speaks the truth. I think he lacks the disposition to try and give up the bad habit. When someone pleads for help to be given one more chance to change his life, be sure to adorn him with the best robe of service you have, providing support, encouragement and patience.
Be kind to one another in thought, speech and deed. Be a little forgiving to those who are weak for you may never know you may need the forgiveness yourself one day too. When you look into the mirror--who do you see? Your beautiful self. Do you want to be kind to him? Yes. When you treat others, just think you see yourself there.
Treat just as kind to others as you would with yourself in the mirror. Remember, persistence in righteous desires can help us develop talents, attain our goals, and serve others in the spirit of charity. That which we persist in doing diligently becomes easier and achievable to fulfill our dreams. This I believe wholeheartedly. So, do not give up your dream. Never, never, never at all, give up--the only option to achieve success, where and when others fail, in the battle of life. Just do it , do it now, do it again and again until you succeed eventually and you will be blessed abundantly!
There are four qualities that will help you to win the battle of life.
They are :-
1. Consuming passion or obsessive possession of a strong purpose in life. Begin with an end in mind ( your dream/goal/result).
2. Persistence to stick to your dream or desirable goal or strong belief, no matter what.
3. Plan strategies to organize resources of opportunities to get there.
4. Determination to succeed despite failures, rejection, opposition or discouragement.
I believe that when we have an ambition or burning desire to accomplish things, we can achieve anything. I say, ANYTHING, not just something, fellow Toastmasters. Nothing is impossible when you are persistent in working passionately towards your dream, your desirable goal or strong belief.
In order to succeed in life, we should have a MAP for our own chartered course.
M-Motivation or Model. What motivates you to change for the better? SElf Motivation for your goal or strong purpose or a hero model to follow?
A-Awareness.What are your strong points to stress or weaknesses to improve? Self-awareness/appraisal with critical self-analysis.
P-Practice /Persistence...of new model or way to upgrade oneself. Think outside the box for changing to an open mind to accept more ideas.
Without a map in life, we cannot hope to change from bad to good, good to better and better to the best.
As a Leader, Ceo or a parent, we should create a conducive environment for people to accept change and meet challenges in life. Toastmasters Clubs provide a supportive and friendly environment for learning, for growth-climate to thrive on. A conducive environment is the key to accept changes or meet challenges for improvement, and provide creativity and outside the box type of thinking of new ideas and acceptance.....LOVE, understanding, kindness to one another, forgiving and uplifting one another are some great feelers of growth-climate for individuals to grow and progress, with greater skills in communication,leadership, knowledge, & technology.
Lee Kuan Yew, the former Prime Minister of Singapore, once , a remarked, "No one has the right to criticize another without an alternative solution to the problem."
Building a close relationship with people requires an emotional intelligence to interact with people kindly through respect and trust, which provide special bonds between two parties.
Do you honestly believe that? In business, fear of failure and fear of change for a persisting period are the two factors that most hinder our progress. I believe that most fears are based on events that have happened nowhere else than in our imagination.
It is said that fear is a dark room where negatives are developed and that it is an acronym for:-
F - FALSE
E - EXPECTATIONS
A - APPEARING
R - REAL
Think about the time and energy you put into fear inducing negative scenarios.
How different it would be if the same time and energy were spent thinking about successful outcomes.
From my own experience, I was a lousy artist. In fact when I was in primary school, my teacher said I drew pictures like humpty dumpty oversized head and small bodies. I was embarrassed.
So, I decided to find out who was the best artist in class. At art class, I sat next to him, making him my best friend.
I copied what he drew, got tips from him, practiced at home, drawing my favorite persons, like the three musketeers. At the Govt. exam. I won the top artist award, and everyone was shocked. I persisted and practiced hard at home.
Even my son, Elisha Lim, and daughter, Vivien Lim, achieved A1 in art after some tips on how to draw and color in the SPM exams. They did not attend art classes then. How did they do it?people inquired. They were grilled, drilled and thrilled in the art techniques for the SPM examinations. That which we persist in doing becomes EASIER , not because the nature of things has changed but the power to do is increased and perfected. So, Never, Never, NEVER GIVE UP --the Only Option to achieve Success--at all in the battle of life, and you will surely be richly rewarded at last!
Wishing all of you the best for the coming year! I challenge each one of you to practice the Only Option to achieve Success---never, never, NEVER GIVE UP in your dreams! THINK of this as the ONLY OPTION you should practice---PERSIST and Make your dream a REALITY!
("The Only Option" by Anthony Lim 17/2/2004. at Federal Hotel, Kuala Lumpur won the International Speech Contest at Bintang ITC Toastmasters Club, Kuala Lumpur)
Friday, February 22, 2008
SUFFERING WITH CHRIST BRINGS BLESSING TO YOU.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
You will never know that God is all you need until God is all you 've got. It is likely that the most intimate experiences of working may lie in your darkest days. Everything that happens to you as a child of God is father-filtered and he intends to use it for good, even when Satan and others may mean for bad. Everything that happens to you has spiritual significance. (Rom.8:28-29).Rejoice in God's love, care, wisdom, purpose and faithfulness. A great reward is won for you in heaven. Everything God allows to happen to you in your life is permitted according to his purpose--to become like Jesus Christ. When you gave all distasteful, unpleasant expressions, he will blend them together for good-like a wholesome cake baked. Going through hard times with Jesus will ensure going to good times with him. The lives of Abraham, Job, Isaiah, Daniel, Jeremiah, Elijah, Elisha, and others are great examples of Christian living, and rewards.
You will never know that God is all you need until God is all you 've got. It is likely that the most intimate experiences of working may lie in your darkest days. Everything that happens to you as a child of God is father-filtered and he intends to use it for good, even when Satan and others may mean for bad. Everything that happens to you has spiritual significance. (Rom.8:28-29).Rejoice in God's love, care, wisdom, purpose and faithfulness. A great reward is won for you in heaven. Everything God allows to happen to you in your life is permitted according to his purpose--to become like Jesus Christ. When you gave all distasteful, unpleasant expressions, he will blend them together for good-like a wholesome cake baked. Going through hard times with Jesus will ensure going to good times with him. The lives of Abraham, Job, Isaiah, Daniel, Jeremiah, Elijah, Elisha, and others are great examples of Christian living, and rewards.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
HOPE IN CHRIST by Anthony Lim, 21 Feb. 2008.
HOPE IN CHRIST- by Anthony Lim, 21/2/2008.
Christians who worship the Father in Heaven can be said to have some deep devotion and dedication to Jesus Christ, the Son of God Almighty. Their faith in Christ will increase their hope in Christ, such hope will eventually lead them to eternal life through Christ's infinite atonement, whose divine blood shed for mankind cleanses for the sins of men.
When we have faith in Christ, ye shall have hope, through the atonement and resurrection of Christ to be raised into life eternal.(Moroni 7:41)
Faith is to hope for things not seen seen which are true. (Heb. 11:11)
Without any faith, there cannot be any hope. (Moroni 7:42)
If there must be faith, there must be hope, if there must be hope, there must be charity. (Moroni 10:20)
See that ye have faith, hope and charity. ( Alma 7:24).
Whoseso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world (Ether 12:4).
So, if we increase in faith, we increase in hope and charity.
Hope in Christ will eventually lead us to eternal life through Christ's atonement.
HOPE means the following aspirations and assurances:-
H-Happiness planned for you and me, and others who believe in Christ jesus as their Personal Saviour
O-Obedience to God's ways for growth, progress and success in our spirituality and life.
P-Peace of mind and soul here and hereafter.
E-Eternal Life to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in the Celestial Kingdom.
Hope is like a sun, a promise to the future, which drives away darkness, and brings in brightness, and happiness, leading us in the right direction to God and Christ.. Hope is the assurance of peace and eternal life granted to us by God.
Christians who worship the Father in Heaven can be said to have some deep devotion and dedication to Jesus Christ, the Son of God Almighty. Their faith in Christ will increase their hope in Christ, such hope will eventually lead them to eternal life through Christ's infinite atonement, whose divine blood shed for mankind cleanses for the sins of men.
When we have faith in Christ, ye shall have hope, through the atonement and resurrection of Christ to be raised into life eternal.(Moroni 7:41)
Faith is to hope for things not seen seen which are true. (Heb. 11:11)
Without any faith, there cannot be any hope. (Moroni 7:42)
If there must be faith, there must be hope, if there must be hope, there must be charity. (Moroni 10:20)
See that ye have faith, hope and charity. ( Alma 7:24).
Whoseso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world (Ether 12:4).
So, if we increase in faith, we increase in hope and charity.
Hope in Christ will eventually lead us to eternal life through Christ's atonement.
HOPE means the following aspirations and assurances:-
H-Happiness planned for you and me, and others who believe in Christ jesus as their Personal Saviour
O-Obedience to God's ways for growth, progress and success in our spirituality and life.
P-Peace of mind and soul here and hereafter.
E-Eternal Life to live with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in the Celestial Kingdom.
Hope is like a sun, a promise to the future, which drives away darkness, and brings in brightness, and happiness, leading us in the right direction to God and Christ.. Hope is the assurance of peace and eternal life granted to us by God.
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